West Ham's record Premier League goalscorer Michail Antonio has opened up about the darker side of football, therapy, and his struggles off the pitch in his new autobiography, Humans Not Robots. The 36-year-old, who survived a serious car crash in December 2024, says he was 'drained by life' after winning the Conference League final in 2023.
Antonio describes how he felt unable to celebrate with teammates after the victory over Fiorentina, instead zoning out on the team bus. 'It wasn't tiredness from the game. It was tiredness from life,' he said. 'I was going through so much outside of football I just couldn't muster up the energy to go and enjoy myself.' He added that players are often treated as expendable: 'In the changing rooms, it's crazy. No one really cares as long as you're performing.'
The forward credits West Ham's head physio for encouraging him to seek therapy, which he initially resisted. 'I felt like therapy was something for crazy people,' Antonio admitted. 'But I had so many demons. If I went any longer, I probably would have fallen into depression.' He now speaks openly about the mental health challenges faced by footballers, noting that 'money isn't happiness'.
Antonio also reveals tensions over contract negotiations with West Ham co-owner David Sullivan, feeling his contributions were undervalued. 'The first year, they wanted to pay me like a right-back,' he said. 'Every time they brought in a new player, they got the big contracts.' Despite offers to leave, he stayed because of his love for the club, even offering to quit playing for Jamaica in exchange for better wages—an offer that was rejected.
Reflecting on his career, Antonio says he often felt like 'meat' in the industry. 'People do treat players like meat. As soon as you get a bit stale, they start getting rid of you,' he said. 'People feel like because you're making good money everything should be cushy, but people go through things as human beings.'
