Game Of Thrones star Hannah Murray has provided further details about her time in a 'wellness cult', during which she experienced a psychotic break. The 36-year-old actress, best known for playing Gilly in the hit HBO series, has spoken candidly about escaping the unnamed cult after mental health struggles led to her recruitment through expensive inductions by fellow members.
Details from the Memoir
Speaking to The i Newspaper, Murray disclosed shocking aspects of her cult involvement, which she recounts in her upcoming book titled The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness. She revealed that she became so enchanted that she drank her own urine and acquired a wand. Previously, she explained how an 'energy healer' named Grace, introduced by her personal trainer during the filming of the 2017 movie Detroit, lured her into costly classes and therapies.
After suffering a psychotic break, Murray managed to escape the leader—whom she feared might be running 'a sex cult'—but has since sworn off therapy, stating: 'Wellness culture is causing things it's meant to cure.'
Magical Elements and Leadership
Murray described the magical aspects of the courses, where devotees received wands made of dark wood with a clear quartz crystal on one end and were told they were becoming magicians. She viewed the cult leader, referred to as Steve, as a magician: 'He is a magician. He is my King. My God. God the father. He is my father. And he is my great, great, great, great love.'
Discussing their first meeting, she admitted: 'I wanted to f**k Steve, more than I had ever wanted to f**k anyone,' and later heard his voice in her head.
Psychiatric Ward and Diagnosis
Murray was eventually locked in a psychiatric ward, where she believed she was Jesus, had died and been reborn, and refused to eat—echoing past disordered eating—before urinating in a cup and drinking it. She recalled thinking: 'I am a ritual master. And this, drinking my own urine, is a powerful ritual. This is all I need now to survive.'
During a course at a London hotel, her behaviour became increasingly manic and erratic. She felt pain in her head, describing it as 'giving birth through my skull.' In a bathroom stall, other members surrounded her, chanting: 'Be gone, evil spirit in Hannah.' Despite the ordeal, she admitted a part of her found it 'f***ing hilarious.'
A friend eventually called for help, leading to Murray's 28-day hospitalisation under the Mental Health Act. There, she received a bipolar disorder diagnosis, which she called a 'relief.'
Post-Cult Views on Therapy
Since escaping, Murray has distanced herself from therapy. When asked if she still attends, she said: 'No. I think therapy can sometimes be positioned as that kind of panacea as well. A lot of the things that feel helpful to me are things that don’t rely on another person’s guidance or wisdom... Things that keep me stable are things like exercise, going for a walk, cooking. Wellness culture might be causing some of the problems it claims to be able to cure.'
