Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel Lampoon Trump's Vatican Feud and RFK Jr's Eccentricities
On Thursday night, late-night television hosts Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel delivered sharp commentary on a range of political and cultural topics, including Donald Trump's escalating feud with the Vatican, persistently high gas prices, and bizarre revelations from a new biography of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Colbert's Take on Trump's Clash with the Pope
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert focused intently on the MAGA movement's growing tensions with Pope Leo XIV over the war in Iran. Reacting to House Speaker Mike Johnson's assertion that the pope misunderstood the Catholic doctrine of just war, Colbert expressed sheer incredulity.
"Correcting the pope on Catholic theology is a little like going into the woods and saying: 'Excuse me Mr Bear, do you really think this is the appropriate place for you to be pooping? Who's going to clean that up?'" Colbert quipped, drawing laughter from the audience.
He elaborated that the just war doctrine, a cornerstone of Catholic teaching dating back centuries, mandates that war must be in self-defense only after all peaceful avenues have been exhausted. "It must be in self-defense once all peace efforts have failed," Colbert explained. "Only then can the war be said to have 'just cause'. As opposed to Trump, who appears to have taken us to war just 'cause."
Colbert also highlighted a social media post from Pope Leo, which read: "Woe to those who manipulate religion and the very name of God for their own military, economic, and political gain, dragging that which is sacred into darkness and filth." In response, Colbert remarked, "Damn, son, the pope just read you for darkness and filth."
Shifting gears, Colbert addressed Trump's dismissive comments on high gas prices, where the president claimed they were "not very high." Colbert retorted, "Are you very high?" adding a layer of satire to the economic concern.
Kimmel's Jabs at Trump's Arch and RFK Jr's Oddities
Jimmy Kimmel, on his show, mocked Trump's proposal to construct a triumphal arch in Washington DC, inspired by Paris's Arc de Triomphe. "The Arc de Triomphe has the names of generals who fought and died for France engraved on its face," Kimmel said. "Ours will have the name of the draft dodger who killed America on it."
He joked, "It's going to be beautiful. It strikes the perfect balance between Scientology and Liberace that we have come to expect from our president."
Kimmel also critiqued Trump taking credit for a ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon, noting, "He said it is now the 10th war he's ended. I would love to ask him to list those wars that he's ended. Not a chance he gets past No 4."
The host then turned to Isabel Vincent's new biography of RFK Jr, which includes startling details, such as Kennedy allegedly pulling over to carve out the penis of a dead raccoon. "I grew up in the 80s. Whose dad didn't pull over to carve out a raccoon penis and study it later?" Kimmel quipped. "That was the original ending to Zootopia, right?"
He added, "Now we have this guy telling us what to put in our bodies. He can't drive past a festering animal without beheading its boner and throwing it in the back seat with his kids."
Kimmel further addressed Kennedy's appearance before the House Ways and Means Committee, where the health secretary drank from a plastic water bottle despite warnings about microplastics. "The 'H' in Maha stands for 'hypocrite,'" he joked.
Additionally, Kimmel played footage of RFK Jr claiming that "every Black kid" in America is medicated with drugs that "induce violence," requiring "reparenting." Kennedy later denied recollection of the statement, but Kimmel commented, "Think about how crazy you have to be to say something like that. And then not only you have no recollection of it – you think it sounds nuts and makes no sense. That's the guy in charge of our children's medications."
