When Jess Pendrey turned 18, there wasn't one feature she particularly disliked about herself. Within months, she had booked her first lip filler appointment - a decision that sparked years of cosmetic work, thousands of pounds of spending and an endless pursuit of the next treatment she believed would make her happier.
Now 21, the Brighton bartender says she barely recognises the person staring back at her in old photographs. She is preparing to have all of her lip filler dissolved as she embraces a more natural look, after taking inspiration from Love Island contestants for years.
From first filler to £8,000 of procedures
Over the next three years, Jess underwent a long list of procedures, including lip filler, chin filler, jaw filler, cheek filler, nose filler, masseter Botox, composite bonding in Turkey, a £4,500 breast augmentation and non-surgical body contouring treatments. In total, she estimates she has spent around £8,000.
Working as a waitress at the time, Jess says virtually every spare penny she earned went towards funding her next appointment. “I was never happy,” she reveals. “I was always waiting for the next thing. I was spending all my money. All my wages were going on these appointments.”
While nobody in her family or friendship group encouraged the procedures, Jess says social media constantly did. Her mother strongly opposed every treatment, but Jess often booked appointments without telling her. “My mum hated everything I had done, ever, but I just kept going back for top-ups,” she says. “It was so easy. You can see something online, book it the day before and completely change your face.”
Love Island inspiration and social media pressure
Jess became fixated on the polished aesthetic promoted by influencers and former Love Island contestants, particularly Lucinda Strafford, whose glamorous appearance she desperately wanted to emulate. “Lucinda was a big one when I was 18 or 19,” she explains. “Looking back now, she's a very pretty girl, but she's her. She's obviously spent money on what she looks like. But that's not me.”
Rather than boosting her confidence, each procedure simply fuelled the desire for another. “Every part of my body I could touch, I did,” she says. “Everything became a competition. I'd follow a new girl and then I'd want whatever she'd had done.”
She describes social media feeds packed with before-and-after videos, clinic promotions and discounted treatment packages. “You see exactly what they've had done and how they've managed to look a certain way,” she explains. “Every day you're seeing a new offer. There are packages on offer. I even bought a 4ml tweak package where they did my nose, jaw and cheeks all in one day. I went straight back to work afterwards.”
Jess believes social media presents an unrealistic standard of beauty, with creators posting heavily edited images. “Creators post the best photos of themselves,” she says. “That's not what they actually look like. No-one is perfect.”
Comparison, online hate and reversing the work
Her obsession with appearance extended beyond social media. Even on nights out, Jess constantly compared herself with other women. “I would look around the room and fixate on what everyone else looked like,” she admits. “The only thing I thought I had going for me was the way I looked.”
She also received cruel criticism online for the amount of cosmetic work she had done. “I'm lucky that I don't really care what people say, because if I'd been in a bad place it could have really affected me. But I was shocked by how people were hating on me for getting work done. Anyone who commented something bad was on a private account.”
Now, Jess is taking steps to reverse some of the changes. She is due to have her lip filler dissolved and says pursuing modelling has encouraged her to appreciate the features she was once trying to erase. To get filler dissolved, sessions can range from £150 to £300 per area, using an injected enzyme called hyaluronidase to break down hyaluronic acid-based fillers. However, if filler has migrated, it can cost thousands to reach more complex areas and can be painful, with some describing intense burning sensations as the solution spreads through the tissue.
“I'm building up my modelling portfolio now, and they actually love unique faces,” she says. “I miss what I used to look like. I look like a completely different person. People don't even recognise me anymore, and that really stressed me out.”
Although she doesn't regret her decisions, as she believes they have helped her grow, Jess hopes other young women think carefully before following beauty trends online. “It didn't make me feel any better,” she says. “I think everything happens for a reason, and I was always going to try it. But I don't even really look at social media anymore because it's so toxic.”
