Confidence is often misunderstood as something to be achieved once certain goals are met, but therapists argue it is more about self-trust. Claire Fountain, a licensed therapist, explains that true confidence is not dependent on external factors but is 'a sense of trusting one's self'. She emphasises that people can change their beliefs about themselves, making it possible to build confidence at any stage of life.
It is important to distinguish confidence from self-esteem. Dr Kristin Neff, associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin, notes that self-esteem is an evaluation of self-worth, while confidence—often referred to as self-efficacy in psychology—is the belief in one's ability to accomplish goals. Confidence, Fountain adds, is a feeling of groundedness that helps one feel okay even when things go poorly.
A lack of confidence can prevent people from trying new things, attending social events, or having necessary conversations, limiting how fully they live their lives. Conversely, genuine confidence, which involves self-acceptance including shortcomings, can put others at ease and foster authentic connections. Fountain warns that confidence is often confused with cockiness, which is usually a sign of overcompensation for low self-efficacy.
To build confidence, experts suggest identifying underlying reasons for low confidence, such as societal pressures or negative self-talk. Dr Mia Smith-Bynum, professor at the University of Maryland, recommends reading memoirs of resilience to normalise moments of doubt. She also highlights the role of community in providing affirming spaces that remind people of their humanity and uniqueness.
Practical steps include using therapeutic tools like 'resourcing', which involves identifying strengths and facts that counter self-critical beliefs. For example, if someone believes they are not good enough, they can recall recent achievements or positive feedback. Taking small, manageable steps towards goals can also build self-efficacy over time, reinforcing the belief that one can succeed.
