In the latest batch of reader letters, agony aunt Jane O'Gorman tackles a woman yearning for a saucy affair, a wife furious about hosting a family reunion with 'vile' in-laws, and a man overwhelmed by his girlfriend's excessive behaviour.
A Saucy Affair Temptation
One reader, describing herself as a 'sexy cougar', confessed she is tired of behaving and craves excitement and risky sex. She says her long-term partner is 'decent enough' but their sex life is predictable and boring, more like brother and sister. With several young admirers at work who say they love experienced, older women, she suspects an affair would make her feel vital and vibrant again.
Jane advises calm, warning that an ill-advised affair would cause hurt and suffering. She suggests rebooting the relationship with a romantic weekend away, date nights, and early bedtimes. If the partner is not interested, the reader could seek new lovers as a single woman, but Jane cautions against being hasty and foolhardy, urging her to think of her sexual health, mental health, and reputation.
Family Reunion Feud
Another reader is furious that her husband wants to invite his 'vile' sister and brother-in-law to a family reunion before his mother dies. The couple, who fought at the reader's 2023 wedding, have been banned from her house and excluded from children's birthdays and parties. The husband insists on hosting the reunion to please his ailing mother.
Jane acknowledges the husband's difficult position, noting the powerful pull of blood. She suggests seeking an assurance from the sister that they will behave, questioning whether alcohol is the problem and proposing a dry party. She also suggests discussing the venue, such as a local hall instead of the house, and stresses careful planning to avoid a repeat of the wedding.
Excess in a Relationship
A third reader describes his girlfriend's excessive behaviour, from drinking and spending to party drugs and sugar, which has left their finances in disaster and the flat a state. He loves her but cannot relate to her energy.
Jane advises taking control, starting with cleaning the flat and prioritising financial paperwork, pointing to nationaldebtline.org for help. She encourages the girlfriend to seek support via her GP and suggests family members listen and assist, concluding that neither can go on like this.
