Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand every day to help readers with their problems, offering straight-talking but sound advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues and drug use, she has helped thousands of readers over the years.
Readers can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
First World Problems
A reader complains that despite having a hot partner, nice house, and decent salary, her friends are jealous. She is constantly told she is lucky and never allowed to complain. Her sister struggles with a boyfriend who takes her money, low funds, and difficult children. When she complained about a broken dishwasher and having sex only once a night, a close friend accused her of being insensitive and self-obsessed.
Jane says that many people around her resent her good fortune. Her sister is bitter and her friends are short. Everyone is allowed to vent once in a while. Her problems may not be world-shattering, but she is only human and allowed to be angry and frustrated. Jane suggests asking what she is getting out of these friends besides insults and surrounding herself with more uplifting pals. No one knows what waits around the corner, and if she did find herself in real trouble, would these friends be there for her? As for her sister, she can support and advise her, but her sister's choices, especially regarding her lazy boyfriend, are not her problem.
Too Many Questions
Another reader is dreading a family holiday in a rented house because her family, from her granny to her youngest cousin, quizzes her on her love life. She has been single for five years and faces endless questions and advice. She hates herself at the moment, with a boring job, no decent clothes, and no confidence. Her mother tells her to cheer up because not everything is about her.
Jane says she cannot allow her mother or anyone else to bully or intimidate her. She sounds like she is in a dark place. If work is bad, she could retrain or look for something new. If she is unhappy or unwell, she should speak to her GP. Eating healthily, cutting down on booze, and exercising will make her feel better. She is an adult and does not have to attend anything. Jane is not suggesting she cut off her family, but they need to understand they cross a line every time they pry. It is time she started standing up for herself and drawing boundary lines.
