Dr Sean O'Mara, a physician who counts JD Vance and Robert F Kennedy Jr among his clients, has made headlines with claims about 'perfect' bowel movements. In a recent interview with the New York Times, he said: 'I could have a bowel movement behind a sheet at a dinner party in the corner of the room and nobody would know.' He has also posted guides on how to 'poop like a champion', saying the ideal poo takes three to seven seconds, requires 'no wiping', feels 'near orgasmic', and produces no noise or smell.
Expert pushback on the 'perfect' poo
Dr Alan Desmond, consultant gastroenterologist and author of What Your Doctor Isn't Telling You About Food, told Metro: 'I'm always happy to hear that my patients are having comfortable, satisfying bowel movements — but I'm not sure we need to aim for a three-second, near-orgasmic experience!' He added: 'What matters more is that you are going regularly for you, that the stool is soft and formed, that you can pass it comfortably without excessive straining, and that you feel properly finished afterwards.'
According to Dr Trisha Pasricha, director of the Institute for Gut-Brain Research, there are three Ps that make this happen: propulsion, pliability and pelvic floor. Specialist pelvic health physiotherapist Rosie Cardale told Metro: 'The position you sit in can make a difference to how easy it is to pass a poo, with squatting being the most optimal choice.'
Silent, no-wipe poos and smell
'There is no medically recognised requirement for a bowel movement to be completely silent, or to require absolutely no wiping,' says Dr Desmond. 'A well-formed stool may certainly leave very little behind, but needing to use toilet paper does not mean your gut is unhealthy.' Even with minimal residue, a gentle wipe is still sensible hygiene due to possible microscopic traces of faecal matter and bacteria.
Dr Desmond suggests the Bristol Stool Scale as a better metric, noting that 'types 3 and 4 — essentially a smooth, soft, sausage-shaped stool — are generally considered ideal'. On smell, he says: 'Smell is normal. Stool contains bacteria and the products of digestion and fermentation, so it is never going to be completely odourless.' An unusually foul smell can sometimes signal issues like coeliac disease, especially with other symptoms such as persistent diarrhoea, bloating, weight loss or blood in the poo.
The science of 'poo-phoria'
'Poo-phoria' — a sudden wave of deep relaxation, relief or mild euphoria after passing a satisfying stool — is not a marker of gastrointestinal health, but it is a real phenomenon. Dr Desmond explains it involves a 'complex interaction between the bowel, pelvic floor and nervous system', where a substantial poo may stimulate the vagus nerve, lowering heart rate and blood pressure to trigger intense physical relief.
He adds: 'And if you're eating plenty of fibre and producing a little more stool as a result, that is generally something to celebrate rather than worry about.'
