Debbie Tomlinson, a 62-year-old grandmother described as “bubbly, strong and fearless,” has died after a four-year battle with bowel cancer that doctors initially mistook for irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). The disease spread to her lymph nodes, liver, bowel and knee despite surgery and extensive treatment.
After several rounds of chemotherapy, Debbie chose to stop treatment to spend her remaining time making memories with her family. Her funeral took place on Friday, October 23, which daughter-in-law Amy Tomlinson described as “joyful rather than sad.” Amy said: "We gave her the send-off she would've wanted."
Initial Symptoms Dismissed as IBS
Amy said Debbie first visited her GP with concerns about persistent symptoms, including bloating, stomach pain and difficulty going to the toilet. For more than a year, her symptoms were attributed to IBS and general stomach problems, with no further investigations, Amy claimed. She said: "All they put it down to was IBS and tummy problems."
Debbie was eventually diagnosed with bowel cancer after a routine screening kit returned an abnormal result. The hospital arranged further tests, which confirmed the diagnosis. Despite the delay, Amy said Debbie never allowed anger to consume her. "The way Debbie was, she was never angry. She just lived her life. She was just like, 'It is what it is'," Amy, from Reading, Berkshire, said.
Treatment and Setbacks
Following her diagnosis, Debbie underwent surgery in Reading to remove the cancer, followed by radiotherapy and chemotherapy, which she found extremely difficult. Although she missed her final chemotherapy session, Debbie was led to believe her treatment was over and everything was “done and dusted,” Amy explained.
In October 2024, a routine scan revealed the cancer had spread to her liver. Debbie was referred for specialist treatment in Basingstoke, where she underwent another operation to remove the cancer from her liver. Doctors later told her there was no evidence of disease.
However, in January 2025, another routine scan revealed the cancer had returned to her bowel. Doctors proposed further surgery that would remove the cancer but also involve removing several vital organs. "It would've been a long recovery, but Deb was up for it," Amy said.
Between January and February, Amy accompanied her mother-in-law to appointments and scans at several hospitals while waiting for news about the proposed operation. In February 2025, the family received a phone call informing them the surgery could not go ahead and Debbie's cancer was terminal.
Choosing Family Over Treatment
Debbie was offered chemotherapy, which she initially agreed to try again, but the side effects quickly became too much. She decided to spend her remaining time with her family rather than continue treatment that left her unable to enjoy life. Amy explained: “She decided she couldn't do it, because if she did the chemo, she had no life, but if she didn't do it, at least she had a life where she could go and do things."
The chemotherapy left Debbie struggling to get out of bed and caused hair loss, which particularly upset her because she loved her hair. Amy said: "It's quite rare to lose hair after one session. It's normally a build-up of several sessions, so that really affected Deb because she really loved her hair, and she was also so poorly."
Despite knowing her illness was terminal, Debbie remained determined to make the most of her remaining time, enjoying days out and moments with her family, particularly her grandchildren, Logan and Thea, whom Amy said she “lived for.”
Remembering the 62-year-old, Amy paid tribute to her personality and sense of humour: "She had her own way of doing things, her own sense of humour and a personality that could never be replaced." In a final tribute, Amy said: "We know that wherever she is now, she'll be having a WKD Blue, a fag and a Fab for us all – and probably wondering what on earth we're all making such a fuss about."
The family is facing a £3,000 shortfall in funeral costs. Debbie's son, Rhys, contributed £1,500 towards the arrangements, and he and Amy are appealing for public support to cover the remaining amount. Donations are being collected through the family's GoFundMe page.
