Sian Welby has candidly discussed the guilt she feels over being unable to visit her father, who suffers from vascular dementia, as often as she would like. The This Morning presenter, 39, publicly revealed her father Ian's diagnosis two years ago on ITV. Now, balancing a demanding career in London and raising her 23-month-old daughter Ruby, Sian expressed her distress at not spending enough time with her 86-year-old father, who lives with her mother Helen in a Nottinghamshire village.
Emotional Strain of Distance
Speaking to the Daily Mail, Sian said: 'I'm a very emotional person and very empathetic. I'm a people pleaser in a lot of ways. I'd rather be making someone else happy and inconvenience my own day. So it does break my heart a bit because I can't just pop over, and because they live so far away.' She added: 'I wish I could just pop in more, take the pressure off my mum, give my dad some quality time, because on top of dementia, he's pretty much deaf.'
Communication Challenges
Sian explained that her father's hearing loss compounds the dementia, making phone calls impossible. 'He's very hard of hearing, and he used to be able to handle a phone call, and now it's just got so bad he just can't hear me. I think actually hearing loss and dementia are all tied in, and I can't communicate with him the same way.'
Becoming a mother has also limited her ability to travel spontaneously. 'I do miss him more because now I've got a baby, I can't just drop everything and go up and see them. I've got a weird career where it's very demanding of me also. And I always joke that I'm the business and the product, so I've got to be me. Like, I can't send anyone in my place. There's no cover for me. I've just got to keep doing it.'
The Wake-Up Call
Although Ian was officially diagnosed in 2021, Sian noted that early signs appeared years earlier. 'He got diagnosed during COVID, so we're talking six years ago. But it can take 15 to 20 years, I think, to even get diagnosed. Because for a while, it's just small forgetful things or just odd behaviour that drives you a bit mad. And you feel a bit guilty when they get the diagnosis because you realise you've been sort of going, "oh, come on, I told you this." Or, "what do you mean you didn't do that?" Or, "you forgot that I told you ten times." And suddenly you realise he really couldn't help it. Like he really didn't remember. That was quite a wake-up call because we suddenly went, "oh my God. He actually has dementia."'
Impact of Music Therapy
On Monday, Sian visited The Spitz Charitable Trust care home sessions to witness how music benefits people with dementia. She found the experience emotional: 'I found the whole day actually quite emotional. It really was. Whenever I do something like this, I always think I should do it more because it just reminds you of... I don't know, you can get so wrapped up in your own world of rushing about and almost rushing through life, and then you're in a place where people are coming to the end of their journey.'
She observed the transformative power of music: 'I could see in real time it changing someone's day, like changing their mood, literally waking them up. It was quite powerful really.' The visit deepened her desire to see her own father: 'I sat there thinking it just made me want to see my dad so badly, and I felt guilty that I was with other people almost, you know. And I was thinking, I'm so glad I am giving my time here today, and I need to now factor in time for my own family.'
About Dementia
Dementia is an umbrella term for progressive neurological disorders affecting the brain. Alzheimer's disease is the most common type. The Alzheimer's Society reports over 1 million people in the UK live with dementia, a number expected to rise to 1.4 million by 2040. Currently, there is no cure, but early diagnosis can slow progression.
