A new study published in Evolutionary Psychology has found no strong evidence that parenthood leads to a measurable increase in positive emotions. The research, involving over 5,000 participants in 10 countries including Britain, examined both hedonic wellbeing (day-to-day emotional states) and eudaimonic wellbeing (sense of purpose). Except for mothers in Greece, who reported a greater sense of purpose, there was no statistically significant difference between parents and non-parents.
Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett, a mother herself, argues that comparing happiness between parents and non-parents is flawed. She suggests the only accurate comparison would be between parallel versions of oneself – one with children and one without. Even then, she contends, the question misses the complexity of parental love, which brings both joy and vulnerability. She quotes her mother: 'Once you have a child, you are forever vulnerable.'
Cosslett highlights the societal pressure on women to engage in intensive mothering and the burden this places on children. She notes that care work is often portrayed as wholly fulfilling for women, but in reality it is hard work, and it is acceptable to miss freedom and even regret its loss. She acknowledges that in an alternative childless timeline, she would have more money and fewer worries, but also no experience of the simple joys of parenthood, such as a child running home laughing.
Ultimately, Cosslett concludes that the question 'Am I happier for having a child?' is the wrong one to ask. Happiness is not a continuous state, and the emotions of parenthood are complex, encompassing both euphoria and vulnerability. The study's findings, she says, reflect this complexity rather than a simple verdict on parental happiness.
