Ruth Langsford has spoken emotively about a devastating family tragedy, revealing the profound impact of her sister's death by suicide. The former This Morning presenter lost her sister Julia in 2019, when Julia was just 62 years old.
Emotional Podcast Appearance
During a recent appearance on Fearne Cotton's Happy Place podcast, Langsford opened up about the loss, becoming tearful as she discussed the unanswered questions that haunt those left behind after a suicide. Fearne Cotton described Ruth's account in her book Feeling Fabulous as "so moving and beautiful" before asking how she managed to process such overwhelming grief.
The Unanswerable 'Why'
In response, Langsford explained the central dilemma faced by survivors of suicide loss. "I think suicide is just, it's such a tragedy and the people left behind are just left not knowing why," she said. "And your question is just 'Why? Why? Why? Why?'"
She continued, revealing her gradual acceptance over time: "And then, as time has gone on, I've accepted that I'll never know why and nothing will bring her back."
The Healing Process
Langsford detailed how she began to move forward, emphasizing the importance of understanding her sister's perspective. "The only way that I can make any sense of it and stop it hurting is to just know she didn't want to be here and nothing I could have done could have changed that really," she shared.
She acknowledged the common feelings of guilt and regret that accompany such losses: "Because you think 'If only I should have rung her more, I should have done this I should have come down'. You just think you could have done something. Why didn't we see it? How could we not have seen it? Why didn't she talk to us? Why? Why? Why? And there are no answers because she'll never be able to tell us why."
Finding Motivation in Memory
A significant factor in Langsford's recovery was the belief that her sister would not want her to live in perpetual sadness. "I just miss her so much but I know she would not want me to have sad life," she concluded. "And I did a lot crying I did a lot of time off work and then I thought, 'She doesn't want this for you'...you need to get back out there. And work has always been my saviour actually."
For emotional support, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
