Paul Foot, the British comedian, has described how a three-second moment of 'violent enlightenment' while driving in Manchester ended 28 years of severe depression and anxiety. The 51-year-old, known for his surreal humour and trademark blue boilersuits, says he has lived in a state of constant joy since that Sunday afternoon on 20 March 2022.
Foot recalls that at 4.59pm, while driving a Nissan Micra in the suburbs of south Manchester, his 'consciousness exploded'. He says the car did not swerve and there were no bright lights; it was simply a realisation that the depression had lifted. 'It was just, "Oh, I've woken up …" And it didn't matter that I'd spent 28 years in a state of depression. It was gone.'
The comedian, who was sexually assaulted at age 11, had suppressed the memory for decades. He sought help from a psychopharmacologist in 2017, which evened out his lows and allowed him to recall the assault. Therapy helped him 'attempt to forgive', but he says he still struggled until that moment in the car.
Foot explains that the assault at 11 did not register at the time, but led to a 'massive depression' at about 19. He compares his previous state to being locked inside a glass box, too depressed to go out. The story of his transformation is told in his 2023 show Dissolve, the filmed special of which is released this week.
Now, Foot says the joy he feels is a 'constant' that does not spike or dip, remaining even in difficult times. He adds, 'I've forgiven everything that anyone has ever done to me or will ever do.'
