Ruth Grierson and her husband Chad used the Find My iPhone app to locate their 17-year-old son Henry, only to be met by police officers who told them he had died. Henry took his own life in April 2024, three days after being permanently excluded from Huddersfield New College.
Henry, a talented rugby player from Rastrick, near Brighouse, West Yorkshire, had been diagnosed with ADHD at age nine. He took medication for several years, but when side effects became too much, Henry and his parents agreed he would stop. He then began self-medicating with illegal substances, including cannabis.
A Morning That Changed Everything
Ruth, 54, told the Mirror that she and Chad, 66, woke one morning to find a note to the family, with a section for each of them. They raced to find Henry using the Find My iPhone app, but were met by officers who told them he had died.
Ruth said: "When we found the note I never thought he would have done what he did. We all had the Find My Phone app, so I could see where his phone was. We pulled on our clothes and ran to the car and started heading to where he was. The dot was moving on the map and I just thought, 'Thank God, he's definitely alive'. But when we got closer we could see fluorescent jackets in the distance. It was cordoned off. We asked the police, 'Not sure why you're here, but we're looking for our son'. We hadn't put two and two together. We gave his name and they said, 'We are here because of your son'. We just had to wait. I don't know how long we waited but it felt like an eternity. I could tell by the look on their faces it wasn't good."
A police officer confirmed Henry was dead, and Ruth said: "I just fell to the ground and I was screaming. From then on, you're with the police and it's like you're in a movie. It all feels like it's happening to someone else." Ruth and Chad broke the news to their daughter, Naomi, 25, and two sons, Thomas, 23, and Jacob, 21. Ruth said: "To watch that land on your child is horrific."
Inquest Findings and Concerns
An inquest in October 2024 heard that Huddersfield New College, where Henry was studying Sport, Business and Design Technology, did not have up-to-date information about his health when he was permanently excluded following an altercation. Coroner Angela Brocklehurst warned the college may not have been aware of how vulnerable Henry was.
The inquest heard the college told Ruth of their decision first, but Henry was not at home and she had no chance to speak to him before he received the college's decision by email. Ruth said the way the college informed Henry was "lacking in compassion" and that he was "let down" by them.
Henry had stopped receiving support from the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) in November 2023 and from addiction organisation Recovery Steps in April 2024. The inquest heard that the college's safeguarding team was not aware of this, which was a "matter of concern". Coroner Brocklehurst issued a Prevention of Future Deaths report warning that "communication between the college and CAMHS and Recovery Steps was not seemingly maintained to enable an awareness by the college of [Henry's] current mental health".
Foundation and Awareness Efforts
Ruth set up The Henry Grierson ADHD & Mental Health Foundation in Henry's memory, aiming to support neurodivergent boys and young men before crisis point. The foundation provides peer mentor training in schools, teaching boys what to say when a friend is struggling.
Ruth said: "I never want anyone else to go through what Henry went through. Henry was the youngest of four children. He was kind and passionate, and a massive Oasis fan. But he was struggling and he couldn't see a way out." She added: "I never knew about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which many people with ADHD experience. Rejection can hit them far harder than it would someone else. I also didn't know that young people with ADHD are more likely to die by suicide or struggle with drugs and alcohol, or that ADHD medication is linked to a lower risk of that. If we'd known, it might have changed how we weighed up the side effects. It's a tragedy we didn't understand this and weren't equipped to properly support Henry."
Ruth and Chad have joined forces with the ADHD Coaching Agency to run a coaching pilot in Leeds for vulnerable boys and young men aged 18 to 25. All coaches will be trained in suicide intervention by Suicide First Aid. They are also planning a night of fundraising and music, organised by Emma Stone and her son, Olly Wilkinson, 21, who is believed to be the youngest ADHD coach in the UK.
Emma Stone, who set up the ADHD Coaching Agency after being diagnosed at age 56, said: "It's all about awareness, it's all about highlighting the link between ADHD and suicide which is highly amplified. We want to be able to help others understand ADHD." A Night of Musical Theatre and Swing, hosted by ADHD Coaching Agency in memory of Henry, will take place on Saturday November 14 at 7pm at The Haven Centre, Crawley.
A spokesperson for Huddersfield New College said: "Our thoughts continue to be with Henry's family and friends. Any exclusion from our college is a hugely difficult and complex decision, and it is right and understandable that the communication around this decision was considered by the coroner. As was stated in the Regulation 28 Report, the College was not informed about Henry's decision to withdraw from CAMHS. We welcome anything that would support enhanced communication between organisations such as CAMHS and schools and colleges. Having clearer guidance about what triggers communications from such organisations would be very valuable clarity for the education sector as a whole. We have also strengthened our process to work with families to understand how we can share information with a student after exclusion decision has been made."
