A young student's world has been turned upside down after a chance encounter with a woman he briefly dated, who is now pushing a pram with a baby he is convinced is his own.
A Spark That Fizzled Too Soon
Over a year ago, a 23-year-old student working part-time in a café locked eyes with a 24-year-old female customer. The attraction was immediate, leading to an exchange of numbers and, after several weeks of texting, a first date.
The date involved a night out clubbing, which culminated in the pair going back to his flat. What started with kisses escalated to tipsy sex without a condom, followed by more intimacy the next morning. The man admitted he did not ask if she was using contraception.
The Crushing Revelation and Sudden End
Hoping this connection was the beginning of a serious relationship, the man's hopes were shattered over breakfast. The woman confessed she was already in a relationship with a boyfriend who frequently worked away.
Feeling hurt and unwilling to be a secret, the student ended their fledgling romance on the spot. The woman subsequently blocked his number and stopped visiting the café where they had first met, seemingly drawing a final line under their brief affair.
A Shocking Reunion and a Denied Paternity
Months passed without contact until a recent, fateful meeting. The man bumped into his former fling, but this time she was not alone. She was pushing a buggy with a baby inside.
After doing the maths, the stunned man directly asked her if the child was his. She flatly denied he was the father and told him to move on with his life. However, convinced the timing aligns perfectly with their encounter and knowing her boyfriend was away at the time, he remains certain of his paternity.
Seeking guidance, he wrote to an agony aunt column, explaining his desperate need to know the truth and his desire to be involved in the child's life if it is his, all while hoping to avoid the boyfriend finding out.
Expert Advice: A Legal and Emotional Minefield
In a sympathetic but firm response, advice columnist Sally Land outlined the harsh reality. She confirmed that while DNA tests are available to determine paternity, the man's hands are largely tied without the mother's cooperation.
Land stated that without the woman's consent—or a court order—he cannot legally force a paternity test, especially not discreetly. She also pointed out that if the woman's boyfriend accepts the child as his own, it is likely they were also intimate around that time.
Furthermore, the advice highlighted a critical legal distinction: even if he is proven to be the biological father, he would not automatically gain rights to see the child, though he could be held financially responsible. To help him cope with the emotional turmoil, Land recommended he contact the support service themix.org.uk, which offers confidential help for people under 25.
