LD, 43, who has cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair, describes his relationship with Lady Alice, a dominatrix he met on X, as a "delicious secret". He says she has complete control over him and that he is hers to use as she pleases, expecting nothing less than absolute obedience. He does not pay her a fee, though he might pay for a service she needs, such as a pedicure, describing these payments as "tributes" – tokens of respect and devotion.
A revelation for both
LD lives with his elderly parents, who cut up his food and wash him. He says he never felt in control and hated his body. Because of his condition, he has what he calls "ornamental hips" that he can't thrust and erectile dysfunction, meaning he is not equipped for sex in the conventional sense. He recalls a "friend with benefits" 20 years ago, with whom he had two meetings that lacked any real penetration.
In their sessions, he says Lady Alice makes him feel like there is nothing wrong with him, as though he was born to kneel and be her "stress toy". Although he needs help cutting up food due to limited control over his fingers, he is able to crawl and get down on his knees for her. Most sessions happen online, but recently he flew over 400 miles to kneel at her feet. His father took him on the journey, not knowing who he was meeting, thinking he was dropping him off at a friend's house.
Finding humanity in submission
The setting for his "ordeal" was not a dark dungeon filled with chains, but a light and comfortable living room. He acknowledges that many might wonder why he would want to be dominated when he already experiences enough pain and humiliation being disabled. But in a session, he says he does not feel disabled – he feels human and happy. He asks: "Would you rather feel as though your life was ruled by brain damage or a beautiful woman who enjoys playing with your flawed body and appreciates your devotion?"
Lady Alice's perspective
Lady Alice, 53, says most of her sessions with LD happen via video call. He kneels for her wearing his collar, and she tells him erotic stories or makes him masturbate. She knows the phrases that send him into a blissful state of submissiveness, which she describes as "subspace" – a feeling more sought after than an orgasm in the BDSM community. She calls LD "unbelievably respectful", noting that many so-called submissive men can't truly surrender and really only wish to serve themselves, whereas LD puts her first, always.
She discovered her aptitude for consensual humiliation three years ago, unexpectedly, after starting hormone replacement therapy. The transformation was almost instant: after years of sexual apathy, she says she became a "carnally incontinent alley cat". She got on the apps and encountered strange requests from men describing themselves as "pay pigs" wishing to be "financially drained", others wanting to be told they were sexually inadequate, and many boys begging to be "pegged". A self-professed "financial domination" addict in Dundee became her unlikely mentor, and she grilled him on specifics such as how to present herself online, how to monetise it, what to share, and what to withhold.
LD and Lady Alice have only met once in person, but she says their daily relationship is more important. She has seen him bloom, and wants so much more for him than he currently has, describing him as a fiercely intelligent, creative man. Through being "owned" by her, she says he has another lens to view himself, which inspires him. Before they met, she believes LD had little outlet for his sexuality, and she knows how energising discovering this side of yourself can be. Names have been changed.
