Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman offers straight-talking advice to readers facing complex personal issues. In one letter, a woman describes sleeping with both her partner and his brother after a breakup. In another, a man confesses to secretly drinking vodka at work and struggling with alcohol dependency.
Brotherly Love Complicates Reconciliation
A reader writes that her partner left her in March. Days later, his brother came to comfort her, and they ended up in bed. The brother begged to see her again. Then her ex-partner asked to borrow £600, claiming his new lover had left him. She agreed, and when he came to collect the money, they also ended up in bed together. Now her partner is back for good, but his brother still wants sex and won't leave her alone. She feels trapped juggling two men from the same family.
Jane advises: "Take control and break your lover’s power over you. Tell him that this is the end. Your partner is back home, and you need to make this work. Sadly, if he threatens you again, then you must get in first and tell your partner everything." She notes that mistakes have been made on all sides, but this is a chance to stabilise life. She describes the brother as an opportunist who wasted no time sneaking in.
Secret Alcoholism at Work
Another reader brings vodka to work in a water bottle and drinks unnoticed. He also drinks wine at home. He acknowledges a problem with alcohol but cannot stop, citing a highly demanding job. After failing to meet a target, he went on a massive drinking binge, expecting to be sacked. He received only a verbal warning. He cannot show weakness to colleagues, parents, or his girlfriend, who all think he is strong. He says he is dying inside.
Jane responds: "You must speak out and get the help you clearly need. Confide in your girlfriend and your GP too. They both need to understand the pressures you’re under and how much you’re really drinking. The booze isn’t helping you: it’s making a bad situation very much worse." She advises accepting that he cannot do this alone and that there is no shame in admitting the need for support. She suggests he may need to reconsider his career and start putting health first, taking it one day at a time. She reminds him that life may seem hopeless but there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and provides the Samaritans helpline: 116 123.
Readers can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
