Comedian Katherine Ryan has revealed she will never completely trust men, including her husband Bobby Kootstra, despite knowing him since her school days. In her new memoir, Confessions of a Firstborn Daughter, she writes that she cannot trust him 100 percent because doing so would require her to ignore basic statistics and anecdotal evidence from over 40 years of knowing women who've been betrayed by even the 'nice guys'.
Why Katherine Ryan Doesn't Trust Men
Katherine, 43, explains that she has had men cheat or misbehave in previous relationships, which is why she cannot fully trust Bobby. She writes: "I admit to not trusting men. Not even Bobby. I can't trust him 100 percent because to do so, I'd have to pretend I'd suffered some traumatic head injury that caused me to forget basic statistics and anecdotal evidence from over 40 years of knowing women who've been betrayed by even the 'nice guys'."
She goes on to say that women have been cheated on during pregnancies, invested years in marriages to men who turned out to be hiding gambling debts, drug addictions, or secret families. She adds that some men are performatively offended when she says this, but if they are honest with themselves, most can admit it's possible for them to be hiding something, even in a happy relationship.
Katherine argues that men sometimes cheat or behave inappropriately at strip clubs and wild nights out, but then try to play it down by saying it "meant nothing." By contrast, she says when women cheat, it is on purpose and normally when they are no longer in love with the man.
Her Facelift and Cosmetic Surgery Journey
The book also covers Katherine's approach to plastic surgery and maintaining a youthful appearance. She writes: "I'm very fortunate to have kept a lid on the whole cosmetic surgery thing, especially now I am in a position to finance too much of it if I wanted to. I deserve a medal just for not having botched myself abroad by now."
Katherine began with lip injections in her early twenties and breast implants, then got botox in her thirties and used filler in her chin, cheeks, and jawline. She treated herself to a facelift in December 2025, just eight weeks after the birth of her baby Holland.
She originally planned to use Dr Steven Levine, who she believes is responsible for many of the rich and famous. She was quoted $176,000 for the operation and was considering paying a deposit when Kris Jenner mentioned the surgeon as someone she used, causing the price to rise to $243,360. Instead, Katherine traveled to York in the UK and had the facelift done for £20,000 at the Coppergate Clinic. Baby Holland and a maternity nurse went along so she could breastfeed either side of the six-hour surgery.
Celebrity Praise and Firstborn Daughter Theory
The book's title is based on the idea that firstborn daughters have a unique feeling of needing to be "completely responsible of everything and anything all the time." Katherine says the idea was originally attributed to Birth Order Theory as pioneered by Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Sigmund Freud.
Among the celebrities she highlights as firstborn daughters are Maya Jama, who she calls "the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in real life," Princess Kate, who showed "stamina in the face of impossible circumstances," and Lady Gaga, who "works tirelessly." She also praises Shania Twain, a second-born daughter, after working with her on Canada's Got Talent, describing her as an example of a 'helper at the nest' who became the matriarch of her house after her parents died.
Katherine told the Cheltenham Literature Festival: "I don't expect everyone to be as provocative as I am but when I had nothing I had everything, I always say that. Violet and I were on the breadline and in danger and that was when I realised nothing really matters as long as your children are healthy."
Confessions of a Firstborn Daughter by Katherine Ryan is out today, published by Blink Publishing.
