Gemma Collins has heartbreakingly said that she believes she will never be able to have children. In a clip from her documentary on Sky, Gemma Collins: Everything All At Once, the former TOWIE star broke down in tears following an egg donation meeting.
A difficult decision after the clinic
Gemma, 45, and her fiance Rami Hawash, 51, have spoken openly about their fertility journey before, as they sought help from a fertility clinic. Though she is a stepmum to Rami's son Tristan, Gemma has long wanted to have her own child. As such, she and Rami hoped they could get an egg donor to help them conceive. But after a tense meeting at the clinic, the pair discussed their options in the car.
The star told Rami that she wasn't sure they would feel like the baby was theirs. He said that perhaps in another few days, he and Gemma might both feel different. But Gemma came to a sad realisation.
‘God didn't intend for me to have a baby’
“I think God didn't intend for me to have a baby,” she admitted. “I think he gave me the fame but he, just made me not...” She paused as tears filled her eyes before turning to Rami to ask what he thought. The clip didn't show Rami's answer and instead focused on Gemma as tears poured down her face. In the caption, Sky TV, who are airing Gemma's documentary, said: “Gemma comes to a heartbreaking realisation after an egg donation meeting.”
Gemma also shared with Heat that she felt that if she was meant to be a mum, her own mother, Joan, who died this year, will send her a sign. “If it’s meant to happen, my mum will send me a miracle,” she said. “If it doesn’t, I’m at peace with that. Maybe those feelings will start creeping back in and maybe it will feel like the right time. One thing I’ve learned is that you have to be happy with what you’ve got and make the best of it.”
Support from celebrities and fans
She added that she understood why couples broke up amid fertility struggles. She described her experience of dealing with both her fertility challenges and the mental health battles that came with it as “increasingly difficult”.
The comments under the video of Gemma's realisation were full of love and support for the star. Fellow celebrity Jo Joyner said: “The grieving is real. So sorry Gemma.” Fellow TOWIE star Jess Wright also commented, writing “oh gem” alongside a broken heart emoji. Corrie star Claire Sweeney also wrote “Oh Gemma”.
Many women also shared their experiences with fertility struggles. One encouraged Gemma not to give up hope, saying: “Oh Gem don't give up. I just had my miracle baby at 49. Sending you so much hope and strength.”
Another added: “I felt exactly the same when I was told to have another IVF baby I would need to use a donor egg, but when the baby is growing inside you it’s yours end of and when the baby comes into this world you will love him/her more than life itself.”
A third said: “Watching this with my egg donor conceived baby in my arms. The fear of feeling the baby isn’t ‘yours’ is something I worried about but I can’t even put into words how much that just isn’t true for me now. She is 100% mine, I carried her for 9 months, I have known her since she first came kicking and screaming into this world and I have been the one she calls for in the night.”
“Hearing your little one call you Mama and only being soothed by you means they can’t feel anything but 100% ‘yours’. Egg donation isn’t the right choice for everyone but it’s worth taking time to explore as it can mean becoming the parent you always dreamed of being, but just taking a slightly different route to get there.”
