Fatboy Slim has revealed that he felt paralyzed and "rigid with fear" at the prospect of DJing sober after spending time in rehab to overcome his alcohol addiction. The artist, whose real name is Norman Cook, described his alcoholism as a parasite and said getting sober was "probably the hardest thing I've ever done" during an appearance on BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs with Lauren Laverne.
Wake-Up Call from Zoe Ball
Cook said he was prompted to address his drinking after his then-wife, radio DJ Zoe Ball, threatened to leave him if he did not stop. "That was my wakeup moment. There had been tons of people shouting at me before, but it was whispered very quietly in the end," he explained. "Addiction is such a weird disease and it's like a parasite, it protects its own. It knows that if you quit, it won't have anywhere to live anymore, so it will do things to you to keep you." He admitted that during his final year of drinking, he was no longer enjoying it and things in his life were starting to fall apart.
Rehab and Sobriety
Cook checked into a rehab facility in 2009 and has now been sober for almost 15 years. While in rehab, he realized he had sought help "just in time." When asked if quitting was easy, he said: "No, absolutely not. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done … I couldn't have done it without going to rehab. I needed someone to bash into my head for a month. You know, 'you'll die, and you'll be in misery if you don't stop doing this.'"
Returning to the Stage
The anxiety he felt when returning to perform sober took time to subside. "For the first five shows, I was so paralysed and rigid with fear, I couldn't dance, and I couldn't enjoy it. I was thinking: 'What are you actually doing? Why are you going to play that record next? And why are they going to react to it?'" he recalled. A breakthrough came during a "beautiful night in Japan" where the crowd's excitement helped him realize his job was about making people happy. "Everything sort of fitted into place," he said.
Career Highlights
Having started his career with the Housemartins alongside Paul Heaton, Cook rose to fame as Fatboy Slim in the 1990s with hits like Praise You, The Rockafeller Skank, and Right Here, Right Now. He has received six Grammy nominations and won the 2002 Best Music Video award for Weapon Of Choice, featuring Christopher Walken dancing through a deserted hotel lobby.
The full Desert Island Discs episode is available on BBC Sounds and BBC Radio 4 from Sunday at 10am.
