Dawn French has become emotional as she opened up about the death of her father, who took his own life when she was 19. Denys French, who suffered from depression for many years, died in September 1977 at the age of 45.
Speaking in a new BBC documentary about her career with comedy partner Jennifer Saunders, the 66-year-old actress recalled the 'shocking and dreadful' loss, saying she was 'furious, angry and dripping with grief'. She described it as 'a grenade went off inside our family'.
French revealed she had been unaware of her father's illness, as he kept it secret from her and her brother Gary, telling them he suffered from headaches and needed to lie down occasionally. She said: 'I grew up with a man who was completely jolly and cheerful most of the time and then would have what were referred to as migraines.'
However, as she grew older, French learned from her mother the anguish her father had been suffering and has come to forgive him. Visibly tearful, she said: 'As I grew up, I started to understand the awful, hellish place he was obviously in, the fight he'd put up for so long and you forgive.'
French also spoke about how her father had been a huge source of confidence, always building up her self-esteem. She recalled him telling her she was beautiful and should value herself, adding: 'So I have always thought I was worth something.'
The actress has previously admitted that her father's death made her question her own mortality, saying she thought she 'wouldn't make old bones'. She now realises those thoughts were harmful, but added: 'Life is a bit fragile and it can be a bit temporary. We've just got to be mindful of that.'
