Amanda Holden has shared an emotional tribute to her late son, Theo, who was stillborn, marking Baby Loss Awareness Week with a post on her Instagram story. The Britain's Got Talent judge tagged the charity Tommy's in the post.
The 55-year-old uploaded a clip of a candle bearing the words “waves of light”, with the flame flickering in memory of her baby, who she birthed 15 years ago. In the caption, she wrote: "Thinking of our beautiful son Theo and sending love to you all #waveoflight #tommys #babylossawarenessweek."
A Mother of Three
The radio presenter has previously opened up about losing her son, emotionally sharing how she still views herself as a "mother of three." Speaking on her show, Amanda and Alan’s Greek Job, she told her co-host Alan Carr: "I always say I am a mother of three. Because I am. When we lost Theo, there wasn’t one moment where I thought 'Why has this happened to me?'"
She continued: "But there also wasn’t a moment where I blamed God or anything, and the way I accepted it was to think that he chose me, just for those few months, to see what it was like to live, and develop, and be in the universe. Then the universe took him back. Now I don’t think that’s religious, but I let him go back. And that was my belief, rather than he went back to Heaven as such. I felt like he went back into the universe, and he is still out there and is part of our family."
Remembering Theo
Theo was stillborn at 28 weeks in February 2011. Amanda shares two daughters, Lexi, 20 and Hollie, 14, with husband Chris Hughes.
In a previous admission on her Heart Breakfast show, Amanda teamed up with the baby loss charity Aching Arms and recounted the "awful" experience. She said: "I will never forget when I went through something, that I would imagine is very similar to your [experience]. We lost our baby Theo at 28 weeks, and they very sensitively moved me into another room so I could deliver him without having to hear the lovely babies screaming on a normal ward.
"Often that's not thought about, it's little things like that. I remember the lady afterwards as well, when we went for a chat, also said 'I know you're going home empty-handed' is what she said to me. So I felt like some sort of game show contestant, so it's all of that language that I know this charity will be helping people to avoid and educate them on how best to deal with something so awful. It's just awful."
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