Artist's Marathon Dating Experiment Sheds Light on Love Addiction Recovery
Performance artist Harriet Richardson embarked on an extraordinary social experiment earlier this year, undertaking 100 speed dates within a single 18-hour period. This remarkable undertaking formed part of her ongoing recovery journey from sex and love addiction, a condition she has identified with since age twenty.
The Nature of Love Addiction
"Sex and love addiction suffers from terrible branding," Richardson explains. "When people hear the term, they immediately assume it's about promiscuity. My experience is actually the opposite - I'm not seeking casual encounters but rather someone to idolise completely."
Richardson's addiction manifests as intense limerence - that overwhelming, all-consuming obsession with another person that has characterised her relationships since adolescence. She recalls her thirty years of life divided into chapters named after the men she was infatuated with at different periods.
"I've only been intimate with fourteen people, which is relatively low," she notes. "But that's because I need to become completely obsessed with someone first. I can't relate to people in healthy ways - it's always about consuming or being consumed by someone."
The 100 Dates Performance
On Valentine's Day this year, Richardson conducted her "100 Dates" performance piece via Zoom, offering five-minute slots to anyone who signed up through her online registration. The artist prepared meticulously, spending hours meal-prepping and testing technology to ensure smooth operation.
The marathon session began at 8am with just four hours of sleep, continuing through eighteen hours with only brief five-minute comfort breaks between participants. Richardson completed her final date at 2:45am, having actually conducted 105 meetings to compensate for some no-shows.
A Personal Transformation
This marked Richardson's second iteration of the 100 dates experiment, having first attempted it in 2024 during a failing relationship. The contrast between the two experiences highlights her recovery progress.
"Last time, I was trying to prove I wasn't alone," she reflects. "This time, I focused on being authentic rather than performing what I thought people wanted from me. When I didn't connect with someone, I didn't pretend otherwise."
The physical and emotional toll was substantial. Following both performances, Richardson spent a week recovering in bed, experiencing skin breakouts, mouth ulcers from constant talking, and profound exhaustion. Her fitness tracker registered her daily walking goal by midday despite remaining seated throughout.
Changing Patterns of Attraction
Perhaps most significantly, Richardson discovered her attraction patterns had evolved. Where previously she gravitated toward "mysterious" and inaccessible men, this time she found herself drawn to people who had taken time to understand themselves.
"My type has changed completely," she marvels. "It's such a relief I could cry. The attraction transcended gender, age, and appearance - it was about self-awareness."
She recalls one particular date with an Irish man who matched her previous physical preferences exactly. "I realised quickly he was like a mousetrap - that cheese would give me food poisoning in five years. Before recovery, I would have pursued him despite recognising the pattern."
The Recovery Journey Continues
Richardson remains celibate eight months into her recovery, viewing this as necessary for developing healthier relationship patterns. "I'm not recovered and never will be completely," she acknowledges. "Like any addiction, it requires constant management and can flare during stressful periods."
She compares her ongoing recovery to managing a child's sweet consumption: "They can have a few treats but not the entire shop. I have to continually monitor these impulses."
Remarkably, Richardson found herself interested in second dates with approximately ten percent of participants but won't pursue these connections, respecting the integrity of her performance piece and acknowledging her exhaustion as protective against addictive behaviours.
The experience left her with profound gratitude for human connection. "I felt this overwhelming thankfulness for being alive," she shares. "For connections with people who owe me nothing yet still prepared questions, lit candles, and wore nice tops. We're all just trying to be seen, happy, and loved."
