Ahead of Father's Day 2026, a survey of 2,000 British adults has uncovered the nation's top dad jokes, with the classic 'seafood diet' pun taking the crown.
The Top Dad Joke
The groan-inducing gag 'I'm on a seafood diet... I see food and I eat it' secured 18% of the vote, making it the most popular dad joke in the UK.
Close behind were 'I only know 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know y' and 'Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked,' each with 14%.
Dads' Humour Valued
More than half of respondents said their father is one of the funniest people they know. Nearly one in five said their dad can always make them smile, while 14% believe his sense of humour is unmatched.
However, dad jokes come with embarrassment: 19% admit their father laughs at his own jokes, and 16% often roll their eyes at predictable puns.
Beyond the Jokes
Dads are appreciated for more than humour, with 21% describing their father as their 'rock.' For Father's Day, 30% plan to give a meaningful gift, with popular choices including whisky (13%), craft beer (12%), personalised T-shirts (11%), and favourite sweets (10%).
Jess Henderson, gifting expert at Bloom & Wild, said: 'Father's Day is the perfect chance to celebrate everything that makes dads unique, from their humour to their unwavering support.'
Top 20 Dad Jokes
- I'm on a seafood diet... I see food and I eat it – 18%
- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know y – 14%
- Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked – 14%
- Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said, 'Dad, can't you just use a sponge?' – 14%
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high... she looked surprised – 13%
- I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I'm okay – 13%
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough – 12%
- I used to play piano by ear... now I use my hands – 12%
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field – 12%
- I got a new pen that can write underwater. It can write other words, too – 12%
- I'm reading a book on anti-gravity... it's impossible to put down – 12%
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef – 11%
- Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it – 11%
- I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless – 11%
- Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts – 11%
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere – 11%
- What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time – 11%
- What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle – 11%
- Have you ever tried to catch the fog? I tried yesterday but I mist – 10%
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta – 10%
