Bob Mortimer warned Paul Whitehouse he was "not going to like" a photograph of his bald spot before offering a makeover he claimed could take 15 years off his friend's appearance. The exchange took place during a repeat episode of the BBC favourite Mortimer and Whitehouse: Gone Fishing, which airs this evening (October 12).
Bob inspects Paul's bald spot
After inspecting a photo of his friend's bald spot, Bob said it was "not good news" and announced he wanted to photograph it so he could "address it". Paul replied: "I acknowledge its existence, Bob," but Bob already had a plan, explaining: "I have bought with me all the kit I used to use to cover up when I had a bald spot and that."
Paul was less enthusiastic, saying he was "not bothered" by his appearance. "I'm gonna do it for you and see how you feel, I just want a 'before' shot," Bob insisted as he took a photograph of the back of Paul's head. Paul reluctantly agreed, prompting a cry of "Whoa!" from his friend.
"You are not going to like that"
"You are not going to like that. I'm not going to show you, it'll depress you. It's not good news," Bob teased before showing Paul the picture. "Yeah, that's bad," Paul admitted. Bob reassured him: "But I can make that look... I can take 15 years off you."
Later, as they prepared for a trip to the pub from their unusual lodgings in a disused railway station, Paul agreed to let Bob put his skills to the test. "So you have used hair thickening spray before, have you?" Paul asked as Bob draped a towel around his shoulders.
Paul's condition and verdict
"A lot of performers use this, Paul, and get away with it," Bob reassured him. "I don't worry about this too much," Paul replied. "I'm not doing this particularly for me Bob, but for all mankind. Are you actually a licensed practitioner?" "You don't need a licence, it's just a spray," Bob said, handing Paul a toy train to distract him. "I'm slightly concerned that I'm leaving the coiffure to a halfwit with a spray can," Paul confessed.
As Bob applied the treatment, Paul described the experience as "very disconcerting" and laid down one condition: "You know my little swathes of grey at the side? Don't tamper with them because they give me a kind of gravitas." He compared it to "like being at the dentist without pain, you think something bad is gonna happen". "What are you doing?" Paul asked as Bob scattered powder across his head. "I'm changing your life," Bob replied.
Despite his reservations, Paul was impressed when he saw a photograph of the result. "Cor, look at that," he said. "It's pretty good, isn't it." Mortimer and Whitehouse: Gone Fishing airs on Monday on BBC Two at 10pm.
