In 1972, Juliet Nicolson was studying for her A-levels when she received a telegram offering her a place to read English Literature at St Hugh's College, Oxford. She initially hid the news, even from her boyfriend James, and considered turning it down to follow him to work in a disco in the Tehran Hilton. Her father's intervention, via a motorcycle-delivered letter with two sheets listing pros and cons, convinced her to accept the university place.
The Family Background
Nicolson's parents had low expectations for her academically. Her mother, born between the world wars, left school at 14 and believed marriage was the only secure future for a woman. She enrolled Juliet in 'finishing' courses to teach domestic skills like cooking and driving a Jeep, hoping she would marry a gentry farmer. Her father, however, recognised her passion for reading, poetry, theatre and writing, and supported her attempt at the Oxbridge exam despite her dismal exam record.
The Telegram Arrives
One rainy December evening, a damp brown envelope marked 'Telegram' arrived. It read: 'Vacancy offered you to read English Literature, autumn 1973. St Hugh's College Oxford.' Juliet shoved it in her pocket and told no one, not even James. The next day, a second telegram gave her until 27 December to accept or the place would go to the next person on the waiting list.
Father's Wise Counsel
On Boxing Day, Juliet rang her father and told him she was turning down Oxford to go with James to Iran. Her father was momentarily silent, then dropped and smashed his favourite coffee cup. The next day, a letter arrived by motorcycle messenger. It contained two typed sheets: Sheet A listed reasons to go to Tehran (rich culture, financial rewards, romance), while Sheet B argued why she should be the first woman in the family to go to university. The latter was so persuasive that the decision became a 'no-brainer'.
The Outcome
Juliet accepted the Oxford place. James never went to Tehran; he stayed in London and eventually married her. Her English teacher, Mrs Fitzgerald, later won the Booker Prize in 1979 for her novel Offshore. Juliet remains useless at cooking. Her father's letter changed her approach to big decisions, giving her confidence to 'just have a go' even when others advise against it.
