An ACE tutor at an all-girls secondary school has urged parents to think about their children's screen use, saying social media and group chats are behind many of the problems pupils face. Emily Sacker, 37, from Gillingham, Kent, supports students at the school, where she estimates 75% of the issues she deals with are related to phones and social media.
Working as an ACE tutor, Emily has seen how arguments and difficulties at school can follow teenagers home through their mobile phones. Access to apps such as TikTok, WhatsApp and Instagram on smartphones can leave some youngsters struggling to switch off from those problems.
Personal experience shapes concerns
Her concerns are personal, too. As well as seeing the impact on pupils, Emily watched her now 18-year-old daughter become dependent on screens during her teenage years.
She said: "A good 75% of the issues we support the girls with are around social media and group chats. Seeing the effect all of that screen usage had on my 18-year-old daughter while raising her as a teenager made me think much harder about it."
"She became dependent on it very quickly, and it was quite a hard battle to face. I look back and think, I don't fancy doing round two with that again."
It's not just teenagers who can be affected by phones, with Emily admitting she had a chilling wake-up call about her nine-year-old son's screen time. She realised something had to change at home when her son reacted with dismay at the mere mention of leaving the house during the summer holidays.
The single mum said: "I just said to my son about some of the things we might do over the summer holidays, like our usual day trips out like the zoo, museum, those sorts of things, and most of it was met with a groan, because it meant having to leave the house and be away from the screen."
Research highlights parental habits
Like countless parents, Emily found herself stuck between ensuring her children are comfortable with technology, while worrying they might be overdoing it on screens — something many of us are guilty of as adults too.
Emily is far from alone - with new research from Virgin Media O2 finding more than half (56%) of children aged 8 to 16 say their parents' unintentional phone use causes them to miss important family moments, while 58% wish their parents were more present when they're together.
The nationwide study discovered that parents are considerably more prone to falling into automatic scrolling habits, with 43% struggling to use their phones intentionally.
Screen-free mornings bring change
Determined to break the cycle before secondary school arrived, Emily introduced a straightforward yet transformative rule this summer: no screens first thing in the morning. These days, mornings kick off at the kitchen table over breakfast, completely screen-free, with 45 minutes passing before any devices are switched on.
She has put a limit on her son's gaming — mostly creative offline play on his Nintendo Switch or playing Minecraft — and has firmly put her foot down when it comes to social media and online gaming.
Emily said the results were almost instant, adding: "It's been so much better for my mental health not to start the day scrolling and comparing our family to everyone else's 'perfect' lives on social media."
"And for my son, I'm getting a solid answer out of him the first time I speak, instead of that dazed, distracted look. When my son comes up to me and asks me a question, I'm not saying 'in a minute I'm just finishing this'."
"I'd hate to think of him looking back on his childhood and thinking all my mum was ever doing was on her phone."
Dana Haidan, Chief Sustainability Officer at Virgin Media O2, said: "Summer holidays are a chance for families to spend quality time together, but we know modern family life is busy, and parents are often balancing work, childcare, and everything in between. Our research shows many are getting caught in unintentional phone habits without even realising it."
"This isn't simply about individual behaviour. Many of the digital services we use every day are designed to keep us engaged, making it easy to spend longer on our phones than we intended. Understanding those habits is the first step towards building a healthier relationship with technology."
"At Virgin Media O2, we believe our role goes beyond keeping people connected. That's why we're investing in long-term research, trusted partnerships and practical tools to help people better understand their digital habits and feel more informed, more confident and more in control of how they use technology."
