A mum who previously worked in children's behaviour has shared four daily habits that parents can implement to raise well-behaved children. Autumn, who posted the advice to her 21,500 TikTok followers, said the habits are relatively easy to put into practice, especially when children are young and can be taught from the start.
Hold boundaries firmly
Autumn said parents of well-behaved children "say what they mean, and they mean what they say." She explained that this does not mean agreeing to something if asked again later. "Kids actually feel more secure when they know that the boundaries that you've put in place are solid," she said, adding that children "thrive when there are rules" and "don't really know where to place themselves when there isn't."
Validate feelings and listen
The second habit is validating a child's feelings. Autumn explained this does not mean always agreeing with them, but saying things like: "I can see that you're upset right now. I hear you. I completely understand why you feel that way." This helps children know they have the right to feel their feelings and that they are being heard.
The third habit is truly listening. Autumn encouraged parents not to "half listen" while scrolling on phones, but to put devices down and give eye contact so children know they are present. "Kids can tell the difference. They know when you're really listening versus you being more focused on something or someone else," she highlighted.
Give context when saying no
Finally, Autumn said parents should give context when saying no. For example, if a child asks to go to the park, parents can say: "We can't do that right now because it's getting dark already, but we could plan another time to go, maybe at the weekend or another day." If a child wants to stay up late for a film, parents can explain they have "got school in the morning" and their "body needs to rest" so they have "enough energy for tomorrow," but can watch it together "after school tomorrow."
Autumn said this is "really simple" but "helps kids to understand the reasoning instead of them just feeling dismissed." She concluded that when children are heard, they "feel respected" and their behaviour starts to reflect that. "It's not about being perfect, it never is, because that's something that none of us will ever be, but it's about being intentional and being present," she shared.
In the comments, one mum wrote: "I can agree as someone who's constantly praised for my kids' behaviour." Another said: "This is so true. Children need time, love, and discipline, not things and social media."
