A woman has written to Coleen Nolan for advice after her sister's husband made repeated public "jokes" about her sister's weight, following the birth of her baby a few months ago.
The sister's husband joked at the baby's Christening that they should get to the buffet quickly or his wife would have eaten all the food. On another occasion, at a pub, he advised her not to sit on a particular chair in case she broke it, then laughed loudly.
Public embarrassment and private anger
The woman said she did not call him out on either occasion for fear of making the situation more embarrassing for her sister, but was left seething afterwards. She added that she and her brother-in-law are not close, so it does not feel natural to speak to him privately about it, and she does not want to cause stress for her sister.
She admitted she never liked him but likes him a lot less now, and asked Coleen what she would do.
Coleen's advice: call it out
Coleen said she would find it hard to stay quiet if someone was putting down one of her sisters, and suggested responding with remarks such as: "Excuse her for growing your child in her body for nine months", or "Thanks for your input, George Clooney", or "Have you seen your shoes?"
Coleen advised pulling him aside to explain how bad the comments are making the sister feel, saying he needs to hear it and reflect on it. She noted that women can feel extremely vulnerable emotionally after having a baby and such comments could really impact the sister's self-esteem.
Coleen also suggested gently reminding her sister not to let him talk to her in that way, and to keep telling her how beautiful she is and what a great job she is doing as a mum, building up her confidence at every opportunity.
She concluded: "Banter isn't funny when it becomes a pattern and is at the expense of someone else's feelings. Some things need to be called out. Do it."
