Danny Abdallah has spoken candidly about the immense strain placed on his marriage following the devastating loss of three of his children and a niece in a horrific car accident in Sydney.
A tragedy that shook a family to its core
On 1 February 2020, the Abdallah family's world was shattered. Danny and Leila's children – Antony, 13, Angelina, 12, and Sienna, 8 – were killed alongside their 11-year-old cousin, Veronique Sakr. The children were walking to get ice cream in Oatlands, in western Sydney, when a car, driven by Samuel Davidson, mounted the kerb and struck them. Davidson was under the influence of drugs and alcohol at the time.
The family's profound and public act of forgiveness towards the driver captured global attention. Davidson later pleaded guilty to four counts of manslaughter and is serving a 15-year non-parole prison sentence.
The private struggle behind public forgiveness
In a new book by Greg Sheridan, 'How Christians Can Succeed Today: Reclaiming the Genius of the Early Church', the Abdallahs have revealed the extreme difficulties they faced in private. As another Christmas without their children approaches, Danny disclosed that they have been on the 'brink of separation many times'.
'Many couples who lose a single child this way will separate,' Danny said. He explained how his wife, Leila, told him: 'You look like Antony, you act like Angelina, you remind me of Sienna – how can I leave you?'
The couple's grief has been compounded by further hardships, including a miscarriage, a robbery at their home, and the near-collapse of their family business. 'Losing three kids means there’s three birthdays every year to remember. Even this year, it flared up again,' Danny shared.
A journey of forgiveness and a new purpose
The family, who hail from a strong Lebanese Christian background, have forged an extraordinary path of forgiveness. Leila Abdallah explained that her children had decided to forgive the driver themselves before the tragedy. 'My daughter saw the driver in court and said she felt sorry for him,' she revealed.
She powerfully described forgiveness as being 'for the forgiver more than for the forgiven', sharing that a woman once told her that because of the Abdallahs' forgiveness, she could forgive the man who raped her daughter.
In an incredible development, Danny has met with Samuel Davidson several times in Cessnock prison, their first meeting taking place on Father's Day 2023. Leila also speaks with him on the phone, and they sometimes pray together. Danny recounted their first prison meeting: 'He falls straight to the floor and starts crying, "I’m sorry I killed your kids."'
Leila has even expressed a desire for Davidson to visit their family home so she can offer her forgiveness face-to-face.
Channeling their grief into action, the couple founded the i4Give Foundation, which promotes the Christian message of forgiveness. The charity now marks 1 February each year as i4give Day.
The Abdallahs, who have since welcomed two more daughters, say having more children was the 'best thing' they did. 'They fill up the house, they give us purpose. You’ve got to keep going. Otherwise you lose everything,' Danny stated.
He offered a poignant metaphor for moving forward: 'Your past has to be the size of the rear-view mirror. Your future should be as big as the front windscreen. Always remember, always honour, always love, but move forward.'
