A mother who was raped three times by her ex-partner while they were in a relationship has described him as a "monster". Tatjana Sibley, known as Tanya, was raped by Calvin White, 35, just months after giving birth to their son.
The 38-year-old, who has since moved abroad, said she told police that White had sexually forced himself on her. She said she did not realise the significance of what he had done, and that it was rape, until she had spoken to an officer. Tanya managed to get evidence of him admitting he had raped her by questioning him about it over text message.
Guilty plea and sentence
White, of South Dene, South Shields, South Tyneside, pleaded guilty to three counts of rape and three counts of assault by penetration on the day of his trial at Newcastle Crown Court in July. Last month, he was sentenced to nine years behind bars.
Tanya has bravely waived her right to anonymity to speak about the offences committed against her and encourage others who may have been in a similar situation to go to the police.
She said: "He's a monster. He's absolutely destroyed my life. I used to be outgoing, I used to be bubbly and I was always smiling at people just to brighten someone's day and I'm not like that at all now. I just keep myself to myself."
Relationship and attacks
Tanya said she was living in the Roseworth area of Stockton and working as a health care assistant at a psychiatric hospital when she met White over Tinder in October 2021. She said she discovered around two months later that she was pregnant with his child. Tanya said that when she was around eight weeks pregnant White became paranoid, accusing her of sleeping with other people and saying the baby wasn't his.
Tanya, who worked at the Priory Hospital in Middleton St George, near Darlington, said White later moved in with her. She said: "He would go through my social media and accuse me of having sexual relationships with men who I had known for years. He would question me about every single man I had on my Facebook. He would not let me sleep. He would be up until four or five in the morning. When I tried to go to sleep he would come in the room and question me and it was absolutely horrendous."
Tanya said the first attack occurred in her bedroom in October 2022. She said: "I went into the bathroom after to clean myself and I started crying. My body knew it was wrong but my head didn't. At the time I was confused as to why I was crying. I didn't understand why he didn't accept my no."
She said the second attack took place around two months later at his parents' house. She said: "I said no I don't want to. He didn't take that as an answer and pulled my pyjama bottoms down. I didn't really question it. I thought because we were in a relationship it wasn't going to be classed as rape."
Tanya said the third attack occurred in June 2023 when she was building a bed for their new flat which they were moving into together. She said: "I just knew he wanted something and I didn't. At that point I just came to the realisation that he's going to keep on doing it and he's not accepting my answer."
Reporting and aftermath
Tanya said she reported White to the police the following month and told them he had "sexually forced himself" on her. She said it was only when the officer she spoke to responded by saying "he raped you?" that she realised it was rape. Tanya said: "The officer said 'Did you say no?' I said 'yeah, multiple times'. That was the moment I realised."
White initially denied any wrongdoing, claiming everything which had happened had been consensual, and Tanya was prepared to give evidence against him at court. However on the day of his trial he admitted the six charges.
White was handed a nine-year prison term and will spend the rest of his life on the Sex Offenders' Register. He was also given indefinite Sexual Harm Prevention Orders (SHPO) and restraining orders.
Tanya said she was "absolutely fuming" with the sentence he was given. She said: "I thought he should have got longer. I thought he should have got at least 12 years. He will only serve two thirds and then he will be out on licence. The sentence has proper annoyed me. It's not much of a sentence really. I don't think it is."
Urging others to speak out
Tanya has urged people who may have been in a similar situation to herself to report their attacker to the police. She said: "If anything has happened to you don't be afraid to speak out. I was, I was afraid of his reaction to that, but the police have kept me safe. I have had amazing support from Northumbria Police. They have been absolutely incredible."
Tanya has also encouraged people to use Clare's Law. The law is named after 36-year-old Clare Wood, Salford, who was murdered by her ex-partner in 2009. She added: "Definitely do a Clare's Law on any potential partner. Do one just to be on the safe side."
Anyone who wishes to use Clare's Law can make an application through the police force's website. National guidance states that Clare's Law applications need to be completed in 28 days. Northumbria Police say they take on average 11 days and if there is a serious risk from a new partner it'll be done the same day. The number of applications received by the force has increased from 500 in 2018 to almost 4,000 last year.
