A woman who called off her wedding last month after discovering her fiancé had cheated on her with a guest has asked for advice on how to move on.
The bride-to-be explained that she found out by chance in June that her fiancé had been unfaithful with someone who was due to attend the wedding. She immediately told him the wedding was off and that the relationship was over.
Anger turns to sadness
Now that her anger has subsided, she says she feels sad and broken. There are almost daily reminders of the wedding that never happened, including bills that need paying, items to send back, and her wedding dress still hanging in the wardrobe.
She says everyone in her life has been brilliant, particularly her parents, who lost money after already paying for things like the venue. She feels guilty for letting people down, even though they all tell her she did the right thing. Her ex hates her, she says, even though he was the one who blew their lives up.
Coleen's response
In response, Coleen said the woman did a brave thing and it was “100 per cent the right thing to do”. She added that going through with the wedding would have been a bigger waste of money and much harder to get out of, involving solicitors and divorce proceedings.
Coleen advised selling the dress, the ring, and anything else wedding-related, and offering the money to her parents. She also suggested sitting down with a glass of wine and thinking, “Phew, that was close, but I’m out of it and can now move on with my life”.
Looking forward
Coleen said friends and family, especially her parents, are not blaming her or thinking badly of her. That is reserved for her ex, who brought everything crashing down on his own.
She encouraged the woman to lean on the great people around her, turn her mind to her future, and take strength from knowing she did something really brave for herself. She advised her to see friends, live her life, and not look back.
“It’s going to hurt for a while, but don’t spend a minute worrying about what he thinks,” Coleen wrote. “This is all on him, he’s the one who should carry the guilt and he didn’t deserve you.”
Words of wisdom
Coleen also offered words of wisdom for anyone feeling stuck: give yourself some time – six weeks or six months, whatever you decide – to prioritise your wellbeing. Be disciplined with your health, routines and self-care, and see how much stronger you feel.
