Romance scams are a growing threat, with around 40 million UK adults targeted in early 2023 alone, according to Citizens Advice. Experts from BBC Three's documentary Hunting the Catfish Crime Gang reveal how fraudsters operate and how to protect yourself.
Cecilie Fjellhøy, who lost £200,000 to a scammer featured in Netflix's The Tinder Swindler, says trust was built over months. She took out loans to help him, believing they were in a relationship. Six years on, she still attends therapy and co-founded LoveSaid, a fraud support centre, with fellow victim Anna Rowe.
Dr Elisabeth Carter, a forensic linguist, explains that scammers use language to make victims feel their decisions are rational. They often claim vulnerability, such as being new to dating sites, or say they've been scammed before. This mirrors coercive control. Fraud detective Rebecca Mason notes a key red flag: reluctance to meet in person.
Scammers avoid directly asking for money, instead saying things like, 'I'm feeling sick right now. This bill is coming in,' to trigger a helping response. They also isolate victims by demonising family, friends, banks, or police, creating a 'us against the world' dynamic. Victims' protective actions are framed as betrayal.
Mason advises using Google image reverse search or Face Check ID to verify photos. A minimal digital footprint is suspicious. Dr Carter warns against sharing personal addresses early, as fraudsters can exploit this for threats. For general scams, she urges curiosity: question unexpected messages and verify sources.
