A man in his late thirties has turned to the internet for advice, expressing frustration at his inability to find a potential partner who shares his dream of starting a family.
The Modern Dating Dilemma: Aligning Future Goals
The user, a 38-year-old man, posted on Reddit's 'UK relationship advice' forum, questioning where all the single women in their thirties who want children have gone. He explained he is actively navigating the dating world with clear intent: to find a long-term partner and build a family.
"My experience is that most women be it in their early or mid-thirties just do not want to have kids," he wrote, pondering if his experience on dating apps and locally reflected a broader societal trend.
He later clarified his position, emphasising that his goal was not merely to have offspring, but to be an actively involved parent within a committed, loving relationship.
A Wider Trend: The Data Behind Declining Birth Rates
The man's personal experience appears to echo wider demographic shifts. According to a BBC report, twice as many 18- to 25-year-olds now say they don't want children compared to those asked 15 years ago (15% vs 7-8%).
A major 2025 survey by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), involving over 14,000 people, shed further light on the reasons. It found that for many, "the issue is lack of choice, not desire." Economic pressures are a dominant factor, with 54% of respondents citing "economic concerns" as a reason for not having kids. A further 24% mentioned health-related issues.
Clashing Priorities in the Comment Section
The online discussion revealed a spectrum of perspectives, highlighting how personal priorities can clash in the dating pool.
One commenter suggested many women are deeply reconsidering parenthood, often due to unsatisfactory dating experiences with men. "A lot of women are putting a lot more thought into having children and i think they're mainly unhappy with their experiences with dating men let alone having children with them," they argued.
Another user claimed to have the opposite problem, stating: "As an early thirties man I have the opposite problem. Every woman seems to want kids and that is just not part of my life plan."
Some criticism was directed at men's timelines, with one person recounting a match with a man in his forties who wanted to date for five years before considering children, a plan she rejected as it would have "timed me out."
The conversation underscores a fundamental challenge in modern UK dating: aligning major life goals like family planning in an era of economic uncertainty and evolving social norms. For individuals like the original poster, the search for a like-minded partner is proving to be a significant hurdle, reflecting the complex realities behind the UK's declining birth rates.
