An increasing number of married couples in the UK are choosing to spend planned time apart, a trend some are calling a relationship 'gap year'. While traditional views might see prolonged separation as a sign of trouble, some couples report that it has reinvigorated their marriage.
Viva, 40, originally from the Philippines but living in the UK, and her husband John decided to spend three months apart after the pandemic. Viva returned to Manila to be with family, while John stayed in the UK for work. The couple, who were also healing from a miscarriage, found the separation beneficial. 'We keep in touch every day, through WhatsApp, Facebook and email,' says Viva. 'It's like going back to how it was at the start of our relationship.'
Relationship scientist Marisa T Cohen explains that couples may choose a gap year for job opportunities, personal interests, or during life transitions such as changing jobs or becoming empty nesters. Marc and his wife Sam, both based in London, took a gap year after getting married. Marc pursued marine biology at a shark-research station in the Bahamas, while Sam trained as a yoga instructor at an ashram in India. 'We figured it would probably be the last chance for us to do that sort of thing alone,' says Marc. 'It gave us the time to really think about each other, and reflect on what marriage meant to us.'
Marc argues the time apart strengthened their relationship, allowing them to pursue passions without regret. 'Marriage isn't about letting go of the things that you feel passionate about, but about finding someone you can support – and be supported by – to pursue those passions,' he says. The couple are now back together and happily married.
