Martin Lewis has advised against telling a partner about substantial hidden debt before first seeking help from a debt counselling agency. The consumer expert shared his thoughts on his BBC podcast after a listener revealed they had hidden more than £65,000 of credit card debt from their partner.
Mr Lewis asked listeners to send in stories of when they had downplayed or hidden a financial cost from their partner. Many responses were humorous tales about luxury purchases kept quiet, such as scuba diving kit and designer shoes, but one person had a more serious matter.
They told the show: "I hid just how bad my credit card debt had become. I was always cagey about money, and eventually, when I was asked outright, I told [my partner] everything—over £65,000 of debt."
Common issue and advice
The person said their loved one was "understandably angry" but had kindly supported them in starting a Debt Management Plan. They said: "The relief was enormous."
Mr Lewis told his listeners this is a common issue. He said: "I have been asked many times over the years by someone who's hidden their debt what to do about the debt."
He shared his thoughts on the best way to proceed if you have a large outstanding amount that you've not told your partner about. The consumer expert said: "If you have a substantial amount of debt that you're not sleeping about at night and that you can't cope with, that you haven't told your partner or significant other about, here's what I would do. I would not break them the news of the debt, because for obvious reasons, you're worried about what will happen.
Help is available
"I'm assuming you're in a loving and trusting relationship here, but obviously this is a glitch to it." Mr Lewis said he would recommend first making an appointment with a "debt counselling agency".
Some groups he mentioned that can help include: National Debtline, Citizens Advice Bureau, StepChange, Christians Against Poverty, and PayPlan. The big name banks partner with PayPlan, and they often refer customers to them to set up a repayment plan.
Mr Lewis said these support schemes can offer an important ray of hope if you're feeling stuck with your debts. He said: "I would go and have your first appointment with them, where they give you the routes, they give you the light at the end of the tunnel, if you like."
Get them on board
Only after you've done this is it time to come clean with your partner. Mr Lewis said: "I would then go back and tell your partner about your debts. You're going to need to work together and [them] help you with it.
"But I would have what you're going to be doing about it within the conversation, so that you're providing them with the route out, as well as just telling them about the problem, which allows them to see next steps and get on with it."
He added the proviso that you need to "choose your own path" with dealing with these things. But he said "many people" have shared stories with him of how reaching out for this help has helped them get on top of their debts.
