A 32-year-old man has lost all confidence in dating after a bad experience online, when a woman he met on a dating app turned out to be a manipulative liar. He says nearly everything she told him about herself was untrue, and he only discovered the full story by chance after a friend of a friend recognised him with her and warned him she had badly hurt someone he knew.
He now feels done with dating sites but still wants to find a partner. His friends are all married or in serious relationships and rarely free to go out, and when they do go out it is to an old man's pub where the chances of meeting a single woman are slim. He is also worried he is giving off desperate vibes and that women have a radar for it and steer clear.
Coleen's advice: don't panic
Coleen Nolan says he is only 32 and should not throw in the towel yet, adding that he has time on his side and should take his finger off the panic button. She says she was on a dating app for a while and met guys for dates who were nothing like the description in their bios, so she got disheartened too. But she also knows people who met their partner online, including one of her bosses who married the guy she met on a dating app and they are blissfully happy.
Her advice is to keep going, maybe on a different app, in the hope that it is unlikely he will meet someone else like his ex. She also suggests branching out and doing things on his own to meet new people, such as joining a gym, a five-a-side football team or a class where he might meet people in the same situation and keen to socialise.
Meeting someone when you're not looking
Coleen shares her own experience: after failing to find a match on Celebs Go Dating, she decided to come off the apps and not actively look for anyone, and then she did meet her partner. She says that might be because she was coming across differently, and it is important to know you are OK on your own and to be happy with yourself, so when you are out socialising or going on dates, you give out a different vibe.
Her final words of wisdom are not to keep someone in your life, or let them back in, if they have tried to ruin your confidence, your relationships or your sense of peace. You don't owe them anything, she says, and you owe it to yourself to move on.
