Agony aunt Jane O'Gorman addresses four reader dilemmas in her latest column, offering blunt advice on affairs, family conflicts, friendship, and wedding planning. Readers can write to Just Jane at the Daily Star or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com.
Brain Fizz: Sleeping with Boyfriend's Father
A reader writes that she has been having an eight-month affair with her boyfriend's father, who is 25 years older. She describes him as a "phenomenal lover" who makes her "brain fizz." The affair began after a row with her boyfriend over money, when his father offered her a ride home. They ended up having sex on her sofa and have been sneaking around ever since. She remains with her boyfriend because they work together, making a breakup awkward. The father is married but claims his marriage is sexless. She feels "wretched and torn."
Jane advises the reader that the father is likely playing with her for his ego. "He's telling himself that he's 'still got it,'" Jane says. She warns that he is not genuine and thinks nothing of cheating on his wife and betraying his son. Jane urges her to end the affair: "Do the right thing and tell him, 'no more.'" She suggests the reader take responsibility and consider confessing to her boyfriend.
Payback Time: Mother-in-Law Conflict
Another reader says she cannot stand her "evil, manipulative mother-in-law." She and her husband lived with the mother-in-law for a year due to housing issues, during which she threw a cup over the reader's head for contradicting her. Now the mother-in-law is divorced, and the husband wants her to move in with them. The reader refuses, causing marital tension.
Jane advises the reader to stay firm: "Tell your husband 'no.'" She emphasizes that the mother-in-law is not their responsibility and warns against living in close proximity again. Jane calls the situation non-negotiable and suggests the reader consider leaving if her husband persists. "Know your own worth and stick up for yourself," she says.
Cupid Stunt: Show-Off Friend and Wedding
A reader worries that her oldest friend, a "massive show-off," will upstage her wedding. The friend craves the spotlight, and the reader fears a stunt will ruin the occasion. She wonders whether to invite her or risk ending the friendship.
Jane dismisses the friendship, calling the friend a "self-centered pain in the backside." She advises the reader to prioritize her future husband: "If your annoying mate can't be trusted to behave herself on your big day, then she can't be invited." Jane suggests telling the friend to behave or excluding her entirely.
Make-Up Sex: Daughter's On-Off Relationship
A mother describes her 32-year-old daughter's volatile relationship with a 27-year-old boyfriend. They cycle between planning a wedding and breaking up. The mother has saved £4,000 for a December wedding but is unsure if it will happen. She asks whether to intervene.
Jane advises stepping back: "She's a grown woman. Don't even try to understand what makes her and her on/off boyfriend tick." She warns against giving them money and suggests the mother focus on her own life. Jane suspects the couple thrives on drama and the resulting make-up sex.
