For 25 years, Justin and Nichola were an essential part of each other's lives. Their friendship began at university, where they bonded over being far from home and never having any money. They, along with a friend named Emma, weathered life's milestones together—Nichola's first baby, Justin coming out as gay, and numerous relationship and career changes.
Once they were 'proper grownups', Justin and Emma would spend Sundays at Nichola's house for 'Sunday club': cooking roast dinners, gossiping, and dancing in the kitchen. They had booked a holiday to Spain together, due to depart in two weeks' time.
The call came from Emma on a hot summer afternoon. Nichola had died suddenly and unexpectedly. Justin describes hearing the news as the 'strangest, most terrifying experience' of his life. Despite the shock, Emma and Justin prioritised Nichola's family, helping with administrative tasks and cancelling the holiday.
The travel company treated Justin as if he was attempting fraud, demanding to speak to Nichola's husband and requesting details from her work email. He took scans of her passport and death certificate to secure a refund. 'Nothing hits you with the truth harder than plain English, in ink, on official paper,' he says.
Busying himself with practicalities delayed processing Nichola's death. He found it difficult to convey the intensity of his grief to outsiders. 'It was like a bad dream, really, except I've never woken up from it,' he reflects.
