Helene Rosenthal, a New York City-based writer, makes the case that unanswered questions are preferable to the social disruption caused by smartphone searches during gatherings. She recounts a dinner where a dispute over the first day of summer led to a phone search that killed the evening's energy.
The Dinner That Died by Google
At a dinner with friends, a casual question about the first day of summer sparked a playful argument. Lizzie insisted it was 21 June, Cleo was sure it was 1 June, and Sylvie offered to bet her coveted The Row flip-flops on Cleo's answer. Rosenthal notes that the social rewards of the argument far outweighed the trivial fact, yet someone inevitably pulled out a phone and declared the astronomical summer begins on the summer solstice, 21 June, while meteorological summer starts on 1 June.
The revelation fell flat. The obligatory "hmmmm" traveled around the table, and the conversation shifted to Lizzie's early-morning root canal. The phone user became a self-appointed expert, and what began as a fun evening turned into a teaching moment. The night ended shortly after.
The Alternative: Embrace the Argument
Rosenthal imagines a better outcome: a raucous argument where Lizzie shared a memorable story about a late-June party and an air conditioning mishap. "It was one of the best nights of my life, I'd never forget it," Lizzie blurts out with pride. In that scenario, everyone learns something—but not about the start of summer.
Smartphones, Rosenthal argues, are a buzz kill. Researchers at the University of Texas have shown that even having a mobile phone at the table, powered down and turned over, affects the ability to connect. The Google effect—our habit of relying on easy information retrieval—means we rarely retain these Googled titbits, yet we let them derail good conversations.
Keep Talking, Skip the Search
Rosenthal advises that the next time a burning question comes up, ask friends instead of checking Google. Even if no one knows the answer, it's fine. The point is to keep talking while we still know how.
