A new trend known as 'cold approaching' is causing concern among women's safety advocates in the UK. The practice involves men approaching women in public, filming the interactions, and posting the videos online—often without the women's consent. Earlier this week, a TikTok video by 24-year-old Amelia Sutton showed her being approached by a man who complimented her, only for commenters to identify him as a known 'cold approacher'.
Part of the 'manosphere' movement, cold approaching is framed as a way to teach men how to pick up women. However, critics argue it disregards consent and can escalate into abuse when rejected. Clips online show men hurling racial slurs and misogynistic comments at women who turn them down.
The trend traces back to Neil Strauss's 2005 book 'The Game', which popularised techniques like 'negging'. While Strauss later denounced these methods as 'objectifying', social media has amplified the practice. The hashtag #coldapproach has nearly 12,000 posts on TikTok, and Instagram videos on 'cold approach rules' have over one million views.
Psychosexual therapist Dr Ben Davis told Metro that these interactions are 'content' where the woman is an 'unwilling participant' in a performance for other men. Psychosexual and relationship therapist Natasha Silverman warned that teaching men to persist after a 'no' is dangerous, especially when women may 'fawn' to avoid harm. 'It risks framing attraction as something that men can “hack”,' she said.
The concern comes as statistics show violence against women and girls accounts for nearly 20% of recorded crime in England and Wales, and over 70% of women report experiencing sexual harassment. In response, Metro launched the 'This Is Not Right' campaign on November 25, 2024, in partnership with Women's Aid, to address violence against women.
