Psychotherapist’s social media ban transforms family life
Anna Mathur, a psychotherapist specializing in frazzled parents, used to pick up her phone hundreds of times daily. She realized it made her a snappier, less present mother. After setting strict limits, her children are happier and her relationships have deepened.
The problem with phones and parenting
Mathur’s phone served as her office, income source, and coping mechanism. Each notification delivered dopamine hits that motherhood didn’t offer. But what felt like rest was actually a further demand on her already stretched mind. Research shows that for those with ADHD, chronic stress, or poor sleep, the phone’s pull is strong due to weakened impulse control in the frontal lobe. Perimenopause, with declining oestrogen, made it even harder as the brain became more reward-seeking.
From willpower to an app-based solution
Mathur stopped relying on willpower and downloaded App Block. She now cannot access social media or email during hours her children (ages seven, nine, and 11) are home, with only 15 minutes allowed after they go to bed. For work tasks, she uses her laptop, which feels more intentional.
Unexpected calm and presence
The change brought unexpected calm. The low hum of overstimulation she had normalized was costing more than she knew. Her nervous system finally had room to breathe. She became less irritable and more present without effort. One helpful habit: narrating phone use out loud. When she picks up her phone in front of the kids, she says, “I’m just adding bananas to the shopping,” which keeps her accountable and signals she’s not disappearing.
Improved relationships with children and husband
Now, when the kids watch TV in the evening, Mathur reads a book with them. Being interrupted mid-chapter doesn’t spike stress like a notification. She rediscovered boredom, where rest and ideas surface. Her relationship with her husband also improved. Previously, they spent evenings side by side on phones, but now they talk more and give each other undivided attention.
Deeper connections and present moments
Reducing phone time has deepened Mathur’s most important relationships. Her kids see her relaxed and resting, sharing small details and worries, and snuggling up. She is fully present for these special moments. Mathur is the author of How to Stop Snapping at the People You Love, published by Penguin Life.
