When Nik Vassev heard that his high school friend's mother had died, he turned to Claude AI for help crafting a condolence message. The tech entrepreneur in Vancouver, Canada, typed the situation into the chatbot and received a draft: 'Hey man, I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your family lots of love...' Vassev sent it, and his friend opened up about their grief. But he never disclosed that artificial intelligence was involved.
Vassev’s experience reflects a growing trend: AI is increasingly used not only for work emails and student essays, but also for personal communications such as text messages, birthday cards and even wedding vows. A 2023 study found that recipients felt less satisfied with 'thoughtful' notes when told they were AI-assisted, and experts warn that such messages can feel inauthentic.
Dr Vanessa Urch Druskat, a psychologist specialising in emotional intelligence, says there is a baseline expectation that personal messages are genuine. 'If I heard that you were making it sound more empathetic than you really were, I wouldn’t let it go,' she says. 'We’re wired to pick up on inauthenticity – it feels terrible.'
An informal social media poll suggested mixed reactions: about two-thirds of respondents said they would be upset if a whole birthday card were AI-written, but when AI was used only for minor edits, the split was closer to 50-50. One Redditor shared they used ChatGPT to write their mother’s card, and she treasures it – but admits they 'can never tell her'.
Vassev himself has been chastened after a friend called him out for relying too much on AI in an argument. 'I want to hear your voice, not what ChatGPT has to say,' the friend said. Since then, Vassev tries to use AI more sparingly, 'thinking for myself and having AI assist'.
