England rugby star Ellie Kildunne has publicly disclosed her personal battle with body dysmorphia, disordered eating, and unhealthy weight loss during the coronavirus lockdown. Kildunne, a pivotal player in England's World Cup victory last year, revealed to BBC Sport that despite physically becoming smaller, she perceived herself as larger in the mirror, which led to a "terrible relationship with food."
Conflicting Perceptions and Personal Struggles
Kildunne described feeling deeply uncomfortable due to conflicting perceptions of her physique. In the rugby world, she was considered small, but outside of it, she felt big, creating a distressing internal conflict. This dissonance exacerbated her body dysmorphia and contributed to unhealthy eating habits during the lockdown period.
A Turning Point in Recovery
The Harlequins full-back, who was named World Player of the Year in 2024, experienced a crucial turning point when she confided in England physio Emily Ross. By admitting her problem and establishing accountability, Kildunne began her journey toward recovery. She now maintains vigilance over her past habits but has developed a healthier relationship with food, focusing on balance and well-being.
Kildunne's openness about her struggles highlights the mental health challenges faced by athletes, even at the peak of their careers. Her story serves as an inspiration for others dealing with similar issues, emphasizing the importance of seeking support and fostering self-acceptance in sports and beyond.
