Youri Tielemans apologising for saying Manchester United are "above" Aston Villa is about as annoying and unwarranted as the smug smirk on Enzo Fernandez's face, according to Harry Brent.
Since when did stating an indisputable fact become controversial? Aston Villa fans are as precious as a bunch of toddlers on a tightrope, with a history of being irrational, emotional weirdos.
Grealish backlash recalled
Brent recalls when fans disowned Jack Grealish for banking the club £100million – easily double what he was actually worth – by joining Manchester City after he stayed through relegation and dragged them back into the Premier League. He had not seen a reaction that unhinged and hysterical since police started taping off park benches during lockdown.
United are a bigger club than Aston Villa in every conceivable metric, and Tielemans should apologise for apologising, coddling pathetic fan insecurities.
United podcast saturation
Football needs another United podcast like it needs another allegedly corrupt FIFA president, with the genre as inventive as Harry Maguire in the final third.
Mark Goldbridge and Wayne Rooney have joined forces for a podcast called Stick to United, a title as redundant as buying Pep Guardiola a comb, given that 'sticking to United' is already the mandatory default setting for football shows in this country.
Existing shows include Gary Neville and Roy Keane lecturing on working-class grit in £500 cashmere jumpers on The Overlap, Rio Ferdinand shouting over guests, and one where Paul Scholes and Nicky Butt wheeze for an hour like broken hoovers.
Brent cannot wait to hear more anecdotes about life under Sir Alex Ferguson, a topic revisited more times than Bonnie Blue's lady bits, and argues this is taking 'keeping it in the family' too far.
