Collingwood veteran Scott Pendlebury took home the Anzac Day medal after a career-high 43 disposals, 19 score involvements, two goals, two goal assists, 10 marks and six inside 50s. His masterclass on Anzac Day encapsulates why the unflappable 38-year-old remains so good. At times during the Magpies' big win at the MCG, Pendlebury appeared to be playing 10 simultaneous games of chess, and Essendon had no answer.
A Week Lacking Competence
The week in football was characterised by an absence of competence. There wasn't much competence over at Kayo, which had more crashes than a Leslie Nielsen film. There wasn't much competence in the umpiring on Friday night. There wasn't much competence at the AFL tribunal, with its barking dogs and house inspections. There wasn't much competence, or basic decency, at its appeals board.
"Competence porn" is a term we hear often, mainly in relation to television and film. In a world run by people who temperamentally and intellectually aren't far from the sandpit, it's the craving for content that showcases craft and care. It's present in shows like The Pitt, where doctors and nurses under incredible strain maintain both their excellence and their sanity. The AFL should poach primary charge nurse Dana Evans from Pittsburgh to run their score review system, or their tribunal, or the whole competition. She'd shape it up in half a shift.
Pendlebury's Response to Early Error
Early in the Anzac Day clash, Pendlebury made a rare mistake, kicking the ball straight out on the full. Perhaps this was a sign that he was at the end of the road. We see those signs every now and then: him getting run down from behind, playing for free kicks more than he used to, or zipping up his tracksuit top five minutes into a preliminary final. But on Saturday, he shook his head (his version of a tantrum or self-flagellation) and went to work.
It wasn't the best game he's ever played, given the quality of the opposition. But it encapsulated why he is so good and how he keeps going. Every one of his 43 touches had its own purpose and thought process behind it. Most were damaging, with 19 leading to scores.
Bombers Outclassed
As Bombers coach Brad Scott reminded us, Pendlebury has played more games than three-quarters of the Essendon team combined. Instead of chasing backsides all afternoon, the Bombers would have been better served taking notes. They were out of sync, out of position, and after half-time, totally out of gas. Pendlebury was constantly alert and present, like a soldier patrolling on point. He read the opposition's minds, anticipated what they did well, and exploited what they didn't.
At centre square stoppages, an Essendon player would stand in the wrong spot, and Pendlebury would point a finger or raise an eyebrow, shifting the geometry of the setup. He spent the afternoon picking pockets, reorientating his team, and tessellating square metres of space. The Bombers were playing checkers, while Pendlebury was playing about 10 games of chess simultaneously.
A Frantic Game Turned One-Sided
This was a frantic game early, and Essendon quickly fatigued. They lost their dare, composure, and competence. Pendlebury's game was orderly in comparison. He was never rushed, never caught, never fazed, and never beaten. He was everything Essendon wasn't.
Other Moments of Excellence
There were other examples of excellence and competence across the Anzac round, from locomotives Kysaiah Pickett and Jason Horne-Francis to the privates and lance corporals performing the New Zealand national anthem at various venues. But the round was soured by the events of the week, particularly the appeals board findings. Will Houghton KC was swiftly removed from his duties, but the damage had been done. It was insulting on many levels: to the broader gay and lesbian community, to the 1,300 listed players across the men's and women's leagues, and to the AFL itself.
The AFL has been pilloried for inconsistency and shilly-shallying, especially with the Izak Rankine slur. They were criticised for their initial handling of Lance Collard. They've been desperate to be seen as leaders on this issue, but now much of their work has come unglued. The existence of an independent appeals board is a good thing, but it relies on living in the 21st century and on basic competence—a quality still absent in key aspects of the sport.
