Former Hull City legend Dean Windass has publicly expressed his deep fears that his children might repeat the same painful mistakes he made with his own father, revealing a severe family rift that has left him unaware of where his son Josh even resides. In a candid interview on the Daily Mail Sport podcast Whistleblowers, the retired footballer, known for his past struggles with substance abuse and suicidal thoughts, detailed a devastating argument with his father just five months before his death from a heart attack.
A Father's Heartbreak and Regret
Windass, who is battling dementia, emotionally recounted to podcast hosts Mark Clattenburg and Gordon Smart how the fallout has shattered him. "It breaks my heart," he confessed. "I've said that to them, I've texted them. It's just fallen on deaf ears." He reflected on a personal row with his father that led to five months of silence, despite their 41-year bond as best mates, and how his father's sudden passing during that period left him traumatized.
The Spiral into Darkness
"I blamed myself, and that's when I didn't want to hear from anybody, I didn't want to speak to anybody, I was drinking, trying to commit suicide, all that shit, which is fucking stupid, looking back now," Windass admitted. He credited the therapy service Sporting Chance, which he attended for 26 years, as a lifeline that helped him through his darkest times, calling it "the best 26 years of my life."
Fears for the Future
Windass emphasized that his father's death was not his fault, as it resulted from an unexpected heart attack, but he remains haunted by the "what ifs." "I'm thinking, 'if I'd have knocked on his door...' and that's why I don't want my kids to make the same mistake," he explained. He is now desperately trying to reconnect with his sons, texting them daily and watching Josh's games at Wrexham, yet he hasn't seen his grandchild in a year.
The Role Reversal
He shared a poignant moment of regret: while working for Soccer Saturday, he considered visiting his father after five months of silence but held back, thinking, "why should I knock on his fucking door, he's the dad." Now, as a parent himself, Windass longs to reach out but is met with barriers. "I want to knock on Josh's door. I don't even know where he fucking lives, that's how bad it is," he lamented, noting Josh is in Chester or Cheshire. His younger son has also cut off contact over a family issue, leaving Windass estranged from both boys.
Public Pleas and Private Pain
The estrangement is so profound that Josh learned of his father's dementia diagnosis indirectly through a friend at a coffee shop in 2025. Windass stressed that his public disclosures are a heartfelt plea: "If I can get this message over to my children, please don't make the same mistake, because I nearly lost my life for it." Despite the distance, he remains a proud supporter, recalling being "the fucking proudest man in the world" when Josh scored the winning goal at Wembley to promote Sheffield Wednesday to the Championship in the 2022-23 season.
A Legacy of Pride
Josh's achievement mirrored his father's own historic goal that secured Hull City's promotion to the Premier League in 2008. Windass joked that his son's success "took the heat off" him, adding, "The kid's a fucking player, and I'm very proud of it." He also expressed pride in both sons being teetotal, a contrast to his past struggles, highlighting their resilience and strength.
