Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez has undergone a full hair transplant, joking that the procedure changed his 'bad' persona into something more 'handsome.' The former Manchester United striker shared a nine-second clip showing his puffy eyes and a white strip of tape on his forehead, referencing his swollen features after the surgery.
A Comedic Reveal
In the video, Chicharito showed off a much-improved hairline while sitting in a restaurant smiling. He joked that 'being bald makes you a bad person' before blaming all of his past transgressions on his hair loss.
Chicharito explained: 'For years, people have said all sorts of things about me. Did I say this? Did I do that? Well, today I'm here to prove that none of it was my fault. This is a completely irresponsible study, presented by me and my uneducated little dog. The real culprit is the lack of hair.'
Joking About Past Behaviour
According to the striker, his pre-transplant self exhibited 'highly concerning behaviours.' He said: 'I wanted to take over the world; I'd miss penalty kicks; I'd tell the waiter "you too" when he wished me a good meal; I'd shout "I'm coming!" while still lying in bed.'
He added: 'I was even accused of acting like the all-time top scorer for the Mexican national team. Well, I am! If they'd let me play more, I'd have even more goals. But, hey, I don't want to brag.'
Benefits of Having Hair
The 38-year-old went on to list the benefits he has seen since the transplant, saying: 'I wasn't a bad person; I was just bald. Here are some benefits of having hair no one warned me about, things that science hasn't even dared to investigate yet.'
'First, I'm better at taking penalty kicks now; with hair, the ball actually starts to respect you. Number two, it makes you a better person. I used to have some pretty dark thoughts, like, not wanting to share my phone charger!'
'Number three, you end up learning every single Luis Miguel song. I even know the ones that haven't been released yet! Four, it can even help you land a job. I thought it was because of my football career, but apparently, it was all about the follicles. I just came as part of the package!'
Personal Reflections
The striker mentioned his partner, Nicole McPherson, who loved him regardless of his hairline. He added: 'Five, and this is the most important one, it helps you find the love of your life. My wife met me when I was bald, with absolutely no guarantee that things would ever improve. That means she truly loves me. That's real love.'
'Six, it protects you from "cancel culture." This benefit is absolutely essential. In the past, I could get "cancelled" for anything. Now, if a wave of public backlash comes my way, it just bounces off.'
The comments follow a break from football between December 2025 and this summer after leaving Guadalajara at the end of his contract. In July 2026, Chicharito signed for USL Championship side Atletico Dallas, becoming the club's first-ever signing.
