With 15 minutes left against the Democratic Republic of Congo in Atlanta, England faced a humiliating World Cup exit. Harry Kane stepped up with two goals, the second sublime, to keep the dream alive. For Prime Minister Keir Starmer, this dream is not just about football but his political legacy.
Starmer's Vision of Immortality
Starmer has spent months plotting England's journey to become only the second prime minister after Harold Wilson to lead the country to World Cup glory. He envisions a state funeral and eternal thanks from a grateful nation. At 6:30pm on Wednesday, that dream was flickering, but within 15 minutes, it was reignited.
The Path to Glory
Starmer sees an easy victory against Mexico in the Azteca, a penalty win over Brazil, and a convincing semi-final victory against Argentina. He has already choreographed the week, including the likely coronation of Andy Burnham as Labour leader on 17 July, which he dismisses as a minor detail.
The Final Weekend
Starmer plans to fly to New York for the final, alone, staying at a top hotel and drinking pints with the UK ambassador. He envisions a comfortable 3-0 win over France, with Kane scoring twice and Jude Bellingham once. At the final whistle, he would run onto the pitch, mobbed by the team, and lift the World Cup, breaking Donald Trump's heart.
The Aftermath
Starmer would invite the team to fly back on the prime ministerial jet, take selfies, and drink champagne. An open-top bus tour from the airport to Downing Street, with Starmer arm in arm with Harry Kane. Back at No 10, he would organize a penalty shoot-out in the Rose Garden with Jordan Pickford in goal.
Legacy and Apology
Before the World Cup finale, Starmer attended to other legacy issues. On Thursday morning, he apologized in the Commons to mothers and children affected by forced adoptions policy from the end of World War II until the mid-1970s. He said the apology was long overdue, calling it a shame that should never have happened. Shadow chancellor Alex Burghart apologized on behalf of the Tories, thanking Starmer for coming in person.
