Emma Beddington, a Guardian columnist, has weighed in on the latest romantic travel trend: 'turbulence test' trips for new couples. As reported by US Vogue, these stress-testing holidays are designed to put fledgling relationships through their paces. However, Beddington argues that such deliberate trials are missing the point, as relationship turbulence is as inevitable as death, taxes, and delayed flights.
The Trend of Turbulence Testing
According to US Vogue, 'turbulence test' trips are a growing trend among new couples looking to gauge the strength of their bond. The magazine interviewed two women who had embarked on such journeys, and a hotel in Charleston, South Carolina, now offers a 'turbulence test' package. This includes $100 worth of cocktails and a pack of conversation cards, which Beddington wryly notes sounds like a recipe for brewing trouble in paradise.
Beddington acknowledges that travel can indeed be a trial for new romance. Coffin-sized shared spaces, upset schedules, tricky interactions, and destination disappointments, combined with the unhelpful belief that holidays should be better than real life, create a pressure cooker for couples. She shares her own experience of nearly splitting with her husband after a horrific trip to Italy in their second year together, which involved unsuccessful hitchhiking in a thunderstorm, a fortnight of rain, recriminations, and cheap wine-fueled fights.
The Case Against Early Stress Tests
While Beddington admits it might be admirably clear-sighted to want to know early on if a partner has deal-breaking traits, such as refusing to try new foods or abandoning you when you get a blister, she questions whether this is borrowing trouble from tomorrow. She argues that what might feel like hard lines early on can blur with time and tolerance. For instance, she and her husband, who have incompatible travel philosophies, have learned to accommodate each other over the years. He now follows her to dingy chapels to see saints' relics without complaint, and she follows him into the Ryanair boarding queue 90 minutes before take-off, albeit with barely audible complaints.
Beddington emphasizes that turbulence will find you anyway, so there is no need to seek it out. She lists several relationship stress tests that naturally occur in the first year: sleeping together with its unsexy baggage of mouthguards, night lights, and childhood teddies; encountering each other's slobbing at-home selves; getting sick with minor illnesses that reveal true character; meeting friends and family; and navigating holiday traditions. These inevitable challenges, she argues, are sufficient to test any relationship without the need for an expensive, stressful trip.
Long-Term Perspective on Relationship Turbulence
Beddington points out that relationship turbulence is a certainty at any stage, noting that 36% of US divorces are among the over-50s, a pattern also seen in Japan and Korea and identified by the ONS as a UK trend. Her advice to new couples is to relax and enjoy the honeymoon period without an expensive, stressful stay in the bridal suite. Instead of seeking out stress tests, she suggests that couples should focus on enjoying the good times and dealing with strife as it naturally arises over the long term.
